First and foremost, Matthew Weiner has been added to the extremely long list of men in Hollywood who have allegedly abused their power and committed acts of sexual harassment and/or assault. I’m disgusted and pissed because I love Mad Men and I have been working on a very detailed and carefully crafted blog post on the series…for months!! I’m just going to scrap it for now until he’s proven innocent, otherwise, f*ck that guy. Also, Mark Schwahn from One Tree Hill? Should I toss my blog post that posted a couple of years ago? I mean, who’s next? Oh yeah, f*cking Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl. Damnit, Chuck Bass!
That has a whole new meaning.
I’m just so disappointed, guys. I’ve been in love with film and TV for as long as I can remember and these morons are sickening me. I don’t know if I should invest my time and money on watching. Also, I’m studying and paying thousands of dollars to eventually move out to LA to pursue TV…
Don’t even ask me how I feel about that…
I’m just so confused.
Presently, I miss having a supportive circle of people around me that I love and trust. Every day I feel like I am walking on eggshells and worrying about things like grades and projects that shouldn’t be taking up all of my time and energy. I thought that I was ready for the world. Site-seeing. Learning about different cultures. Falling in love. Dreaming big. Ect. Ect. But no, I’m in front of a computer, soaking in the news that breaks my heart, and losing so much sleep over my schoolwork. I still haven’t found something that makes me want to get up in the morning and jump for joy. I thought grad school would be that, but it’s just not. I like being surrounded by like-minded individuals and learning new things in class, but it all feels kind of empty. I don’t know, maybe I’m just sad and miss home. But that’s just the thing, I was so ready to get away from home and be out on my own.
These days, I just don’t know what I want. Will I ever? I don’t want to pass up opportunities, but I also don’t want to be stuck in a situation where I’m missing out on things that will actually bring me joy.
I’m glad I have this blog to vent my emotions and I know that most of you all are here to read about TV and film, etc – but sometimes life matters more, you know. I’m going to do my best to prosper in my classes and get out to LA and really give this dream a chance. It’s something that I’ve worked so hard for and I owe it to myself to give it my all. In the meantime, I just need to give myself a chance to really fall in love with this new city and allow some hope and joy in my life.
Here’s to loving life and trying to make this all work! I’ll keep you all posted.
’til next time.