Music: “Black” by Pearl Jam

I don’t even know where to begin – this song is AMAZING. I’m a bit frustrated to be perfectly honest though. It’s mostly due to the fact that I’m just now discovering this song. It’s also due to my jealously of Eddie Vedder’s intense emotion and the emotion he had to have gone through to create such a powerful song. Yeah, I sound ridiculous. I mean who wants to feel HEARTBREAK? Ya know, it’s like asking for pain. But think about this, you don’t feel pain from a breakup unless you really love that person and that love was true and transcendent. I want to feel that. I do get a taste of it when listening to this song, but I’m itching for the real deal. Guys, I know I sound like a crazy person, but if you listen to this song, you’ll hopefully get it. It takes me on this whirlwind of emotion. I’m honestly a bit dizzy. It’s so calm in the intro and all of a sudden, I’m listening to the lyrics and then Vedder’s voice hits me, BANG! He starts feeling the emotion and he throws it straight at me. It’s like a punch in the gut – but it feels good. I know, I know…what the heck? Guys, you just have to listen to this song. If you’ve heard it (and you SHOULD have because it’s indeed a classic – or you’re like me) then you know (or at least sort of know) what I’m talking about. I’m so mad that I found it so late. Thank you, Pandora by the way.

Anyway, I’m also just so angry that I am just LISTENING to this guy with a beautiful and powerful voice beg and plea about his lost love and his world being empty and turned to “black” when my world is empty, because I haven’t even attempted to FIND what he had. Get me. He’s heartbroken and so am I. My personal circumstance affects my reaction to this song and it may be different from anyone else’s, but I definitely love this song. It has pushed me to open up my eyes and see that loneliness can really make someone feel down right AWFUL. But at the same time, love also makes you feel awful, but it’s something worth feeling…I think. I don’t know. I’ll let y’all know if I am ever brave enough to put myself out there and risk being shattered like Vedder. But look what was the result of such heartbreak. A MASTERPIECE. A WORK OF BEAUTY. TRUE ART. I just love this song. Listen for yourselves!

I’m not as pathetic as I make myself out to be. Seriously, I am on this journey of figuring out my career and how the real world works. I haven’t had the opportunity to be interested enough (read ‘brave enough’) to complicate matters more by worrying about or trying to understand that crazy thing called love. From what I’ve seen just from being on the outside, it looks messy. Vedder proves this. But I’ve also seen the beauty of it and of course, heard the beauty of it. It’ll happen when it’ll happen. At the perfect moment. I am a very idealistic-fairytale sort of person mixed with a dash of cynicism. So yeah, I’m screwed. No seriously, I strongly believe it’s one of those things that you can’t force or actively search for. It’s complicated like life itself. My eyes are just a little more open when/if it does sneak up on me.

Here’s what Vedder said in an interview about the inspiration for and meaning of ‘Black’:

“The song is about letting go. It’s very rare for a relationship to withstand the Earth’s gravitational pull and where it’s going to take people and how they’re going to grow. I’ve heard it said that you can’t really have a true love unless it was a love unrequited. It’s a harsh one, because then your truest one is the one you can’t have forever.”

‘Til next time!

P.S. The next song that I talk about will be more upbeat. I swear I’ve been in some mood lately. 🙂

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Ke'ara

Hi! I’m Ke’ara and I love writing about and over-analyzing the tropes and aesthetics of my favorite TV shows, movies, and tunes. I mostly just enjoy watching and listening to them though. Hope you all enjoy!

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