Feeling Kind of Unfulfilled #Movies

You know, as someone who grew up loving (I mean really loving) movies and admiring different actors for portraying an array of characters – movies just do not touch me the way they used to. Wow, great that sounds like I’ve become some sad woman in a hopeless relationship – but I kind of am. Movies used to be there for me, for whatever emotion that I was feeling or that I needed to feel.

See, I was born in the early 90’s so I began watching movies in the early-mid 90’s. Do you remember how great movies were back then? Then, I discovered movies from the 80’s, 70’s, 60’s…at such an early age. I remember getting absolutely lost in those cinematic universes. They were definitely a way to escape and feel like someone brand new. I was just a kid so my life of course was limited on excitement. Some stuff I hadn’t gotten around to learning about in school and I was able to learn by watching movies. And I watched all kinds of movies (except for horror movies – screw that!). As I said before, I would get lost in movies and the worlds and characters became as real as the skin on my body. Imagine what happened when I randomly got a peek of a horror movie. Yes, I’m talking about you Pennywise the clown and Leprechaun. The movies would bait me in as kiddy films (something like Goonies and Fright Night, but more scary), but all of a sudden I would be like “wait a second, I’m scarred and the walls are closing in on me and I think Leprechaun is looking right at me through the screen.” Hmm, no thank you. Even today as someone in their 20’s, I do not watch horror movies. And joy to the remakes of said horror movies.

Anything else was fair game. I was mostly drawn to the fantasy, science fiction, and romantic-dramas. Three of the first few films that I can remember watching and enjoying were Pretty Woman, The Wizard of OZ, and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. Pretty Woman of course had that Cinderella aspect to it and I loved (love) Julia Roberts. She had hair for days and that smile just made me smile. Funny thing about her and Richard Gere was that they looked like the ‘white versions’ of my aunt and uncle – the folks that introduced me to these films. I enjoyed the double-takes. Then, The Wizard of Oz starts off as black and white and I remembered sitting on the floor eating a popsicle and thinking “this is going to be so boring, but I’ll watch it anyway” and then the story got more and more exciting with the tornado and I was like “this black and white movie is amazing” and then the movie goes into color and there are munchkins and witches, “What is going on? I want to live there!” Naturally, I patiently waited on my tornado – oh to being a kid! With The 50 Foot Woman, I became a real sci-fi geek at like the age of 4 or 5. Seeing this gigantic woman get revenge on her douchebag husband was bad ass! Just the fact that she was 50 feet tall appealed to me. I was thinking, how did that happen, could that happen to me? From there, movies got even more exciting with new movies coming out during that time and the sequels, and I was discovering movies from other times. John Hughes became my saving grace. I would watch anything Brat Pack related.

Maybe it was that I was a kid and I hadn’t had the opportunity to, you know live and discover the real world, that made movies so fulfilling. But, I think there’s more to it. There was originality and new special-effects that opened my eyes to the possibility of new things. Fresh things. Now a days, I cannot seem to be fulfilled by watching movies, at least new movies. Even these big block busters are kind of a bore. I’m excited for the first 10 minutes and then I’m like oh, that’s so predictable. That’s what it is – predictability. If it’s not that, it’s all of the reboots and remakes. Gosh, I can’t handle another refresh of anything. Leave the classics alone. But, then I think about it, these new filmmakers and even the older filmmakers are living in the past and are nostalgic about how certain films took them away and allowed them to escape. They want to live in those worlds by remaking them or at least showing the younger audiences how it felt to watch these movies – and ooh how cooler would it be if they came out today, during the time of social media and technology! That’s fine and all, but wow, wouldn’t it be nice to watch a new movie and feel like I’m taking a vacation from my world and entering something unheard of, undreamed of, unpredictable.

Glad to be back guys.

‘Til next time.


Music: “Here With Me” by Dido

So, for the past three years, I have been absolutely obsessed and attached to this song. It’s so beautiful. Dido has that voice that’s comparable to a siren’s call. This song just makes me feel lovely and think about lovely things. And most importantly, it’s the opening credits song to one of my absolute favorite TV shows – Roswell! Yes, Roswell. Hit show from The WB back in the day. I have the series on DVD, and I can’t help but to watch it at least 3 times a year. I just love it. I’ll do a separate post on it soon. 

Back to “Here With Me”. The song is sultry and irresistible. It’s about love, of course. But it’s not too flowery or too sweet. It’s about being who you are and being comfortable with who you are, but also being honest with yourself that you’re in love and that person completes you. You’ve found that person and you’re damn sure not letting them go. You can’t ‘breathe until [they’re] resting [there] with [you].’ They are the best part of your day – and that’s ok.

I think you guys can get the full scope of the song by watching the music video. Yes, it has that late 90’s / millennial vibe and that’s totally fine with me. I prefer that era of music anyway. Dido basically sings and walks through a dizzy state of love. She’s walking through the traffic, dropping her coffee, taking off her coat in the middle of the street and making her way up the stairs to get to her bed. Her home, with the one she loves. It’s great, because the fact that she is dizzy in love and could have lost her life walking through streets and such, she is smiling through it all. She’s glad that she’s in love. She’s ok. She’s braving it through. Love is getting her through.

Overall, the song is just stunning. Dido is adorable in the video. She’s apparently playing herself as a famous person and in front of all the lights, camera, and action. But, once it’s all done, she wipes off the mask of makeup and fake happiness and goes home to love. She won’t leave her guy for the fame.

Now, why I love this song – it just makes me feel great. I love the idea of true love and stumbling through the day with your love on your mind. It’s almost paralyzing, but it gives you strength at the same time. That’s what love should be. At least, I think so. You’re just in a stupor of happiness all day, walking through traffic. Walking through life, in love.

Listen to this song guys and watch ROSWELL! Great music for those of you in love or into the idea of love.


‘Til next time!

Music: Happy Halloween!!

So my playlist for Halloween is AMAZING! Pretty contemporary, but none the less…AMAZING. The first song that I want to mention is Thom Yorke’s “Hearing Damage”. Now, this song is perfect for Halloween, because it not only sounds like an endless stream of chaos but the message: to HEAR DAMAGE, brings on the science-fiction + realism of the track. The opening lyric: “A tear in my brain allows the voices in”…WOW! Ok, the song is basically about becoming a zombie or being a living zombie. I know, I know. I went there. Yes, it’s about today’s life of technology – chaotic and somewhat soul draining. We live by the machine and become walking zombies of ourselves because we believe that technology can “do no wrong”. Thom repeats this to the point of it losing meaning and as though he’s become sucked in this warped world of machine music. I love it, though. So, zombies = Halloween. Check. But, this song means so much more. It’s kind of creepy because it sounds like a pleading chant, but then the voice becomes so distorted that it’s not even human anymore. NICE! So are we hearing damage by listening to this song? Maybe. Or, are we hearing damage by listening to the message of this song, because it’s a reflection of a real problem? We could be.

Your speakers are blowing. Your ears are wrecking. You’re hearing damage. You wish you felt better. You wish you felt better.

Another great tune in my playlist is Phantogram’s “When I’m Small”. It’s another track that’s eerie and packed with meaning. I hear it as a story about a girl named ‘Lucy’ and her willingness to ‘die’ than be with whoever she is in a relationship with. She feels ‘small’ with this person, because of a lack of love in the relationship or a lack of power. This person knows how to push her buttons, and does so to get a rise out of her knowing that she needs him for some reason, so he can take advantage and feel powerful without her actually leaving. Kind of dark, yes. But wow, this song makes me want to dance. It’s hypnotic, but meaning/story aside, the more I listen to it, the more trance-like I become. So, evil boyfriends/vampires = Halloween. Check. How did I get vampire out of this song…just listen to it?

Am I still alive or has the light gone black?

TV on the Radio’s “Wolf Like Me”. Now, this is a band that I have been meaning to write more about. I will have a full post on them in the near future because THEY ARE AWESOME! In the meantime, this track is the epitome of the Halloween music that I long for. It’s another catchy, trance-like track. But it’s also NOT. There’s something about the song that makes me more awake. Though it’s so chill, it’s also fast and pulling all at once. The vocalist has a soulful voice, but the music is chilling and impulsive. Which brings me to the story = animal instincts and giving in to impulse. Sex. Yes, a little dirty, but surely not distasteful. It’s a sexy tune using the metaphor of becoming a werewolf to becoming one’s true self and giving into desire. Letting out and “howling.” That’s what makes it trance-like, the sexiness, but then it wakes you up with the speediness. Listening to this song is like running a marathon. So yes, werewolves = Halloween. Check.

When the moon is round and full gonna teach you things that’ll blow your mongrel mind.

Also, check out Kasabian’s “Vlad the Impaler”. This song is catchy, made for dancing, and about Vlad, the Impaler aka Dracula. 🙂 “You can’t kill me, I’m still alive.” There’s more humor in this track. Especially with the “get loose, get loose” part. In all seriousness, though, this song is about snapping people out of our sometimes zombie/undead lives. “Get loose” from the trends. Be an individual. Be yourself. Take charge of your own life. “We need to raise the dead / We need to raise the people.” We need to wake up! Also, it’s about telling the difference between the alive and the dead. The real and the fake. The genuine and the imposters. It just speaks so much. So, Dracula = Halloween. Check.

You can’t kill me. I’m still alive.

Check out these tracks for Halloween or just for whenever! They’re great! These are only my interpretations of the songs. I would love to read some of yours!

‘Til next time! and Happy Halloween!

Music: “Silver Coin” by Angus & Julia Stone

Hey guys! Yes, I know it’s been a while. I’ve been busy trying to get my life together. No, honestly I’ve just been working my butt off and haven’t had the energy to post. But, I’m back and I’m going to go ahead and really kick-off my “Listen With Me” series. If not daily posts of what I’m listening to then for sure weekly posts.

Alright, so I’ve been playing the heck out of this track…”Silver Coin” by Angus & Julia. It’s mesmerizing and whimsical. I feel like the song is the perfect addition to a winter playlist (which is where I filed it in my iTunes). It feels like wind blowing in your face – in a good way. The vocals are nicely harmonized with the subtle piano and wind instruments that’s layered within the tune. I feel like the track is perfect for napping, thinking, reading, whatever really. It’s mellow and surely it’s calming.

I usually listen to it on my way to work. It helps me get my thoughts together before I enter the hustle and bustle. It’s a lovely song and kind of depressing if you’re interpreting or just reading the lyrics. I don’t really listen to it out of sadness. But, if you’re sad, go for it. It helps. Like my previous post on Pearl Jam’s “Black” (and darn-it, I said my next song post would be more upbeat didn’t I? Oh, sorry guys, my bad. I naturally listen to more mellow music like such, but I promise I listen a ton of upbeat tracks too and I’ll post them eventually), it’s about lost love or losing something that you love. I mean Angus is saying that he “had a dream that you were gone” and he “woke up and you were gone” / then there’s the repetitive “I miss you when you’re gone”…that’s definitely not a good feeling. So, depressing – check. Angus’s voice is beautiful though, so it adds that extra spice to the song. He gets kind of angst-y along with Julia as he sings “this goddamn room gets so small sometimes” which is a relatable feeling for sure. So the song can be interpreted as losing thoughts that you’re trying to hold on too but being bombarded by the outside world that makes the room feel smaller and more suffocating. Again, kind of depressing. But I promise, I don’t listen to the song out of depression. It’s just a nice little sliver of air for me. If that makes any sense. The song kind of helps me breathe due to its windy / whimsical feel. Listen to it and see how it makes you feel.


‘Til next time…

Music: “Black” by Pearl Jam

I don’t even know where to begin – this song is AMAZING. I’m a bit frustrated to be perfectly honest though. It’s mostly due to the fact that I’m just now discovering this song. It’s also due to my jealously of Eddie Vedder’s intense emotion and the emotion he had to have gone through to create such a powerful song. Yeah, I sound ridiculous. I mean who wants to feel HEARTBREAK? Ya know, it’s like asking for pain. But think about this, you don’t feel pain from a breakup unless you really love that person and that love was true and transcendent. I want to feel that. I do get a taste of it when listening to this song, but I’m itching for the real deal. Guys, I know I sound like a crazy person, but if you listen to this song, you’ll hopefully get it. It takes me on this whirlwind of emotion. I’m honestly a bit dizzy. It’s so calm in the intro and all of a sudden, I’m listening to the lyrics and then Vedder’s voice hits me, BANG! He starts feeling the emotion and he throws it straight at me. It’s like a punch in the gut – but it feels good. I know, I know…what the heck? Guys, you just have to listen to this song. If you’ve heard it (and you SHOULD have because it’s indeed a classic – or you’re like me) then you know (or at least sort of know) what I’m talking about. I’m so mad that I found it so late. Thank you, Pandora by the way.

Anyway, I’m also just so angry that I am just LISTENING to this guy with a beautiful and powerful voice beg and plea about his lost love and his world being empty and turned to “black” when my world is empty, because I haven’t even attempted to FIND what he had. Get me. He’s heartbroken and so am I. My personal circumstance affects my reaction to this song and it may be different from anyone else’s, but I definitely love this song. It has pushed me to open up my eyes and see that loneliness can really make someone feel down right AWFUL. But at the same time, love also makes you feel awful, but it’s something worth feeling…I think. I don’t know. I’ll let y’all know if I am ever brave enough to put myself out there and risk being shattered like Vedder. But look what was the result of such heartbreak. A MASTERPIECE. A WORK OF BEAUTY. TRUE ART. I just love this song. Listen for yourselves!

I’m not as pathetic as I make myself out to be. Seriously, I am on this journey of figuring out my career and how the real world works. I haven’t had the opportunity to be interested enough (read ‘brave enough’) to complicate matters more by worrying about or trying to understand that crazy thing called love. From what I’ve seen just from being on the outside, it looks messy. Vedder proves this. But I’ve also seen the beauty of it and of course, heard the beauty of it. It’ll happen when it’ll happen. At the perfect moment. I am a very idealistic-fairytale sort of person mixed with a dash of cynicism. So yeah, I’m screwed. No seriously, I strongly believe it’s one of those things that you can’t force or actively search for. It’s complicated like life itself. My eyes are just a little more open when/if it does sneak up on me.

Here’s what Vedder said in an interview about the inspiration for and meaning of ‘Black’:

“The song is about letting go. It’s very rare for a relationship to withstand the Earth’s gravitational pull and where it’s going to take people and how they’re going to grow. I’ve heard it said that you can’t really have a true love unless it was a love unrequited. It’s a harsh one, because then your truest one is the one you can’t have forever.”

‘Til next time!

P.S. The next song that I talk about will be more upbeat. I swear I’ve been in some mood lately. 🙂