TV: Roswell

Music Recommendation: “The Way You Are” by Mackabella

Also, this song was not on Roswell, but I used to listen to it every day while watching the show. I would even imagine that it was Michael’s theme song in season three: “4 AM (AuTra Remix)” by Kaskade

Guys! Guys! GUYS! I finally watched the Netflix hit Stranger Things and it is amazing. Like, as an 80’s sci-fi fan, I was in awe of the score, the tone, the characters, the creepiness, the cheese-factor, and of course just the production of such a great addition to the sci-fi television hall of fame. With the new year, I started thinking about my favorite science-fiction television dramas and I’ve already posted about Buffy, Smallville, and Supernatural. I  have a strong emotional connection with Roswell and you can’t get more sci-fi than aliens, so here we go…


The series dares to delve into the world of science-fiction, while at the same time stays human. It has everything that I love about television (and film and literature to be honest). It has all the genres: drama, sci-fi, romance, comedy, and a little horror / the ‘spook factor’. Plus, it premiered in 1999, and you all know how I love my 90’s television!


It’s cool and interesting and the characters keep me invested and I just NEED to be a part of their squad, which is built on trust and loyalty. I just hate that I decided to finally watch the show so late in the game – back in 2012. From the pilot episode, I was hooked!


Some background: I always knew of Roswell as I grew up watching shows on The WB network. I would see ads (Max and Liz can be seen starting at 1:28) for the series. Also, here’s another one of my favorite The WB ads. I also recognized Shiri Appleby from the Gavin Degraw ‘I Don’t Want to Be’ music video. You know the One Tree Hill theme song. I kept telling myself that I’d watch the show later. Then, later became years and time passed by…

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Flash forward to my third year in college and I’m living in my first apartment and pretty much living in my own little bubble. It was the year of self-improvement and peace. I had caught on to the flow of classes and I was getting stuff DONE while being comfortable having enough time to myself…to watch TV. I needed some new shows to ‘study’ and obsess over. Then Amazon had a ton of shows free to view through Prime. I decided hey, let me watch all those shows on my list that I always said that I would get around to. Keep in mind that at the time, I was a hardcore Buffy, Smallville, Charmed, and Angel fan. Science-fiction was one of my favorite go-to TV genres. I saw Roswell listed, watched the pilot episode – BOOM, I was in love. Just like that. I bought all three seasons on DVD after I finished season one on Amazon!

I love it! I love it!

Before long, I found myself in a daze. All I could think about was the show. In class, I was thinking about the show. In the shower. While eating lunch. Dinner. Rare occasions where I ate breakfast. While sleeping. While walking. And even while talking. Lucky for me, the series is only three seasons long. Otherwise, I would be forever in a Roswell cosmic trance.


In high school, I spent [wasted] a few precious moments watching (and reading) the Twilight series. I truly have a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the series. But the films (and books) did clue me into more of the sci-fi/teen drama/romance mixed genre: the human girl falls for the ‘outsider’ [non-human, vampire, werewolf, alien] guy.

Stop and stare.

Plus, the show just hooked onto my teen drama heartstrings. Shall we journey down the hallway?

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Seriously, Roswell was right up my alley. Something that I truly love about it is that the show includes the ‘love triangle’ trope that most of the other teen drama series like to hammer down hard on us, but you clearly know the two who are actually meant to be and there isn’t too much of a dilemma in deciding who you’re rooting for.

This is nice because I like to see two people make up their minds about who they’re in love with and the show can focus on the growth of their romance. And there is Heartstrings no doubt or debate that the two are soulmates (cough, Felicity). Max and Liz are honestly meant to be – despite them being different species and despite the world (and other worlds) trying to tear them apart. They just, somehow, naturally and seamlessly fit. Liz is the soft-spoken, wide-eyed, sweetheart and Max is her intergalactic prince charming. They are literally star-crossed lovers and sparks fly when they’re together. Simply, no ordinary love.

liz and max

What I also love about the show is that the aliens are two siblings and a best friend, so one of them is ironically the outsider. Brendan Fehr said during the ATX TV Festival reunion (around the 10:30 mark) that he enjoyed that Michael was the “outsider of the outsiders”. Years after their ship crashed and the aliens came out of their pods (I told you how hardcore sci-fi the show is), Max and Isabel were found by loving parents while Michael had to be put in the system with a not-so-fatherly foster dad. It’s an interesting take. There’s always a power struggle between Max and Michael as well as with Isabel (being the lady of the group) having to fight for her right to voice an opinion and make important decisions. Be her own alien-woman.



Side note: When I was really young, I had a deep appreciation and love for the Disney Channel and their movies. Wish Upon A Star was one of the first movies that I absolutely obsessed over. I loved Katherine Heigl and this was all before I started watching Grey’s Anatomy. And yes, I am aware of her less-than-stellar acting reputation these days. What a shame!


Back to Roswell: If it were up to Isabel and Michael, they all would have stayed below the radar. However, Max fell in love and he is the leader, so hello story. With Michael, it is always the question of who gives Max the right to be in charge and is he just suppose to fall in line because his ‘earth home’ is crap? Because he doesn’t get a family breakfast and dinner? Because his assumed earth identity is ‘beneath’ the others?

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I’m leading for once.

What if he was rightfully the leader on their home planet? What if they were all related and shared the same social status? The show just makes you think on a deeper level about being separated from your birth right and not knowing who you really are. The three stick together for the most part until they allow their new human friends and lovers in on their big secret. Even then, Michael always feels like the lesser of the three and watching his growth throughout the series is a part of why I enjoy the show so much.

Adding to the mix is their newly found human friends and companions: Liz, Maria, and Alex (and later Kyle and Sheriff Valenti), the three aliens become torn between having the chance to learn about who they really are. They have to decide between “going home” and “staying home” and where their hearts are. They also have to figure out who to trust, including themselves. Their motivations fluctuate from time to time and sometimes they need those on the outside to remind them how to feel like they belong.


There’s a lot of action and the sci-fi stuff can get heavy, but the show does a great job letting the characters’ “human side” shine through all the chaos. It’s great television.

It’s science.

I’ll talk about some of my favorite episodes (mostly from season one and two). I’ll also talk about my favorite character moments and relationships. I hope you all enjoy!

The Opening Credits

The show’s opening is mainly focused on Max and Liz at the Crash Down – watching and longing for each other as they are separated by a glass window. With Max on the outside and Liz on the inside, the two seem to merge into one as the glass reflects one onto the other. They are one despite their literal and figurative separation. The opening can be interpreted as Max being almost angelic and watching over Liz or Liz keeping Max grounded – pulling him close to something as earthly as a diner. Max’s background is the desert and basically emptiness. He appears out of nowhere.

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Dido’s “Here With Me” goes perfectly with the story and Max and Liz’s romance. Liz is home and Max won’t go until he’s with her. She’s it. He’s it. They can’t ‘be’ themselves without the other. Plus, there’s almost an alien-like/sci-fi sound to the song. Especially the “I am what I am” part. Big kudos to the music department of the show, because it’s a perfect song for the human side of the story, but it diverges a bit into the alienness – but not too much to smother us. The rest of the opening consists of scenes from the pilot with the other characters’ titles.

Favorite Episodes

“Sexual Healing” from Season One

Before this episode, I found Liz and Max’s budding romance to be sweet and innocent. But as I watched this episode, I constantly had to pick up my mouth off of the floor. They were hot and the tension was building and exploding as they were drawn to each other and it was breathtaking. Seriously, I was out of breath. All Liz and Max could think about was, well…you know…


I like to think the “draw” was more than sexual, but also a matter of love. Why else would Liz be getting the flashes other than that there was a true connection between her and Max? What other way is there to describe love but “out of this world” and seeing the stars and galaxies from the moment that you touch the one you love?  Sure, it’s also the ‘alien thing’ tying the episode together, but it’s also a brilliant metaphor for love. True love. Being blasted off into space and soaring into nothingness. Bright lights and strobes of color opening up your senses.


The hilarious thing about this episode is Michael and Maria. Liz raves about this explosive feeling that she’s getting while kissing Max, so, of course, Maria has to try it out on Michael. And after hearing about it from Max, Michael has to experiment as well.


The funny thing is that Maria isn’t feeling anything from Michael. Well, not like Liz. The episode does hint that Michael feels something for Maria, but he plays it off like he doesn’t feel anything either. I’m still unsure if this means that Liz is special and is linked to Max after he saved her life with his healing powers and that all aliens can feel, but it’s rare that humans do. So, maybe Michael does feel this incredible feeling, and he’s offended when Maria doesn’t. They, of course, fake it as long as possible not to be overshadowed by Max and Liz.

“Blind Date” from Season One

Through and through, this is one of the cutest episodes. It’s Valentine’s Day and as Max and Liz dance around their budding romance, Liz wins a blind date contest for a radio station candid camera feature. Liz describes her “dream date” and it’s definitely a draw-up of Max: a serious, dark-haired, mystery man from an exotic place.”


She ends up getting another Mr. Perfect, so, of course, this makes things very interesting. I’m sold. I got my popcorn in hand. The episode also reminds me of the “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date” episode of Buffy. Max is clearly crushed and Kyle can’t help but feel smug, but at the same time relate to Max. Max did steal Liz away from him, after all.



The two unlikely fellas bond over their mutual adoration of Liz Parker and get drunk. The cool thing is that Max’s drunkenness is amplified due to his alien nature, so things spark up a bit. Kyle is as oblivious as usual to piece together the strangeness, but seeing Max open up and cut loose is so much fun to watch!



Max is honest and candid about his feelings for Liz. All of the brooding and ‘us against world’ cautiousness is thrown out of the window. It’s the moment when the guy that you love is saying all of the right things and saying everything that you have been waiting for him to say.



It’s also like a ticking time bomb because you’re falling into the madness of the moment and you know that it’ll fade eventually. It’s like a dream and you know that you have to wake up. The question is, why get swept up in the overwhelming feeling of love? Because why the hell not!


Also, Liz looked absolutely gorgeous in this episode. Shiri Appleby really has the looks of an angel.


“285 South” from Season One

I didn’t really care much for Maria during the first few episodes of season one, but when I watched this episode, I couldn’t help but love her and her interactions with Michael. All I could think of during the episode was: “Of course, these two would make a cute couple! Of course, these two will be the comic relief!” And it all started with Michael trying to steal Maria’s car.


It’s just exciting to see the budding romance of another important couple. One couple would foil the other. Maria can also stop obsessing over Liz’s newfound romance, and focus on something that’s hers. What I love about Michael and Maria is that Michael is the outsider and has a tough exterior. He needs someone to challenge him and keep him on his toes. Maria suffers from word-vomit and is a little neurotic. She needs someone who’s frank and a little hard to latch on to. At the same time, Michael needs someone who isn’t afraid to try to latch onto him. With their time on the road and stay at the motel, we’re introduced to a lighthearted tone of the show as well as a chance to humanize Michael and soften him up a bit.


Their constant bickering and one-upping in this episode is only the beginning. From the first moment that they have to spend time together, it’s like they’re an old married couple. Their relationship totally tones down all of the drama and brings in the laughs.



We also get to see Liz and Isabel’s relationship in this episode. Liz has become more and more important to Max and he’s exposed so much of himself and Isabel and Michael’s secret to her. You have to wonder how this makes Isabel feel because for the longest time she’s been the only girl in Max’s life that knows the real him. All of a sudden, Liz has taken over and become something of the dominant female. The two bicker on the road and we see Isabel fighting to let Liz know who’s boss.


From a certain perspective, it just looks like the girls are fighting like normal teenage girls do…even like sisters. The whole telling humans their secret is all new to Isabel too, so she’s figuring out what the humans mean to her. What Liz means to her. Isabel knows who she really is and in a sense, her life is in Liz’s hands. She has to open herself up more and trust Liz. She has to adapt to this new situation. Liz is just falling in love. It’s all a bonus that she’s accepted into this crazy world of aliens and the supernatural. When it’s all boiled down, she doesn’t want to take Max away from anyone or hold him back from discovering more about his true identity. She just wants to help, because of her love for Max. For her love of all of them.


“Independence Day” from Season One

Michael is the center of this episode as we get to see his home life at the trailer park. His foster dad is a real son-of-a-gun and uses Michael as a punching bag. Sure, we’ve seen the tough side of Michael, but to see him being hit reminds me that he’s just a kid (more or less) with feelings. He came from the same place as Max and Isabel, yet he gets the crappy lifestyle. Why? Why is this fair? Michael also finds solace in the arms of Maria in this episode and we get to see her home life with her single mom. Guys seem to come and go (including Sheriff Valenti), so Maria is going through the normal emotions of a teenage girl when trying to figure out the guy that she likes and her mom is there to remind her to be careful with her heart.


What’s amazing is seeing that Michael is feeling a whole new set of emotions. He’s always been closed off and to see him break down a wall to let in Maria instead of Max or Isabel when he’s at a low point is a huge change and growth in his character. He’s also been treating Maria pretty crappy lately, so she fights her feelings to let him in.

michael and maria
Go away!

Also, this episode has one of my favorite songs (at least in the DVD version) – “Did You Disappoint Your God?” by Neva Dinova. It’s a great way to show Michael’s vulnerability and basically to center his importance in the show. Though I love Max and Liz, it’s a more fulfilling viewing experience to see the character growth of other characters. And here is where I began to love Michael. I also would like to mention the 180 in Sheriff Valenti’s character here. He goes from being the villain and the guy that you better watch out for to a regular man flirting with a woman. It’s pretty hilarious and a nice way to show the comedy of the series. Each character is so complex and there’s always more to them than meets the eye.



“Heat Wave” from Season One

Since this is a show about aliens AND teenagers, you have to respect the show’s full understanding of the teenage mind and the similarities with the science-fiction genre. The show blends both of the genres and it’s themes of loneliness: wanting to be accepted, to be loved, and to be understood. The highlight of this episode is Alex. So far, he’s been on the outside of this whole new alien crew. Max and Liz are falling for each other, Maria and Michael have been getting closer, so that leaves Isabel and Alex. Isabel has always had Max and Michael and Alex has always had Liz and Maria.

Roswell TV Series, Shiri Appleby (Liz Parker), Katherine Heigl (Isabel Evans), Emilie de Ravin (Tess Harding), Majandra Delfino (Maria DeLuca), Jason Behr (Max Evans), Brendan Fehr (Michael Guerin), Colin Hanks (Alex Whitman), Nick Wechsler (Kyle Valenti)

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However, Alex is now on the outs as his besties have paired off without him. Isabel luckily is “in” on the whole alien thing…because she’s an alien and has had to give some sort of approval of letting Liz and Maria in on the big secret. But Alex is totally out. Liz and Maria have been lying to his face – calling the aliens “Czechoslovakians” when he’s around. I guess they just expected him to just not question them. To not be smart enough to figure out that something has been up with these three new friends that Liz and Maria have been hanging out with.

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Shh, don’t tell Alex.

Honestly, in my first watch of the series, I discounted Alex as well. I figured, if Liz and Maria didn’t let him know the truth from the start, then he must not be that important. I was wrong, though. See, Alex is the conscience of the three humans. His existence keeps me judging the others and wondering whether or not who they are and what they’re doing is right. I mean, it’s very suspicious and questionable to hide aliens and the supernatural. What about the public? Should everyone know what’s around them and what’s really out there? The aliens need to be accountable for their actions, because what if they wanted to invade? What if they wanted to keep the humans in check?

Alex is so right to be pissed at Liz, his best friend, for keeping this huge burden from him. If she really does love him and wants him to trust her with his safety and everyone else’s safety, then she needs to be upfront with him. This is a guy she’s known forever and who has always been there for her. Why put him on the sidelines? Why bench him? What made Maria more important than Alex, to tell the truth to first?

What kind of friend are you?


Liz even asks Isabel’s opinion of including Alex in on the big secret. Isabel decides to ‘dream hop’ into Alex’s dreams to see if he is trustworthy. Come to find out that when he sees her in his dreams, he’s charming, charismatic, and sincere. Isabel feels drawn to him. She then feels as if he can be trusted and brings the issue to Max for his opinion. When it’s all said and done, Isabel wants to protect her family and herself, but she feels like Alex can be trusted as well.


I get it that Liz thinks that she is protecting Alex by lying to him, but I think to leave him in the dark just makes him vulnerable and an easy target for danger. It just always breaks my heart when Liz and Alex are in the jail cell and Alex basically calls quits on their friendship if she doesn’t speak up. It’s painful to see Liz struggle with deciding whether or not she should just let Alex go to protect him or if she should be the friend that he holds her accountable to be and tell him the truth. She eventually tells the truth, but of course how easily can you believe in aliens?

I think the main reason, though, that Liz doesn’t want to tell Alex the truth is that she doesn’t know if she can trust him. He’s well aware that they’re all hiding something and Sheriff Valenti is aware as well. He wants to use Alex to give up the rest of them. Liz doesn’t think that Alex can keep it all hidden from Valenti. However, once Alex knows the truth (whether he believes it or not), he holds out on Valenti after all.

Another great thing about “Heat Wave” is Maria and Michael’s hot and heavy relationship. As they physically get closer, Michael worries that he’s going to hurt Maria somewhere down the line. I mean, he may well have to leave her and go back to his home planet soon. At this point, anything is possible. Getting close is just going to make things harder for the both of them.

Maria is holding him to the standard of being a good human boyfriend, but Michael is still trying to figure out the alien thing. Adding on being human is just a little more than he can handle all at once.They have their little make-out sessions, but someone is going to get hurt in the end.





“Tess, Lies, and Videotape” from Season One

I guess we have to talk about Tess. We get to meet her in the previous episode “Crazy”, but here we get to see how the new girl affects the rest of the gang. Instantly, I hate Tess. Seriously, why on earth would Max be dreaming about making out with another girl when he has met Liz, the love of his life? He’s probably one of the most loyal boyfriends in all of the teen dramas that I’ve watched, and to see him fantasizing about someone else other than Liz really pisses me off. It’s like, we’ve come so far in getting Max and Liz together and we’ve fallen in love with their love and then here comes Tess.

Who’s that girl? It’s Tess!

Of course, it has to be some sort of supernatural alien hypnosis that’s drawing Max in, right? The more I try to tell myself during this episode, the less I believe it. The same with Max – he’s trying to convince everyone that something is wrong and that they should be suspicious of Tess, but then he’s still drawn to her and he really does eventually make-out with her. And Liz sees him. Tess’s whole innocent pleas that she doesn’t know why Max is attracted to her is the infuriating part. She makes it so believable that Max is the bad guy and that she’s just innocently caught his eye and it’s a shock that he’s into her.


Surely, Tess is doing something to Max. I mean, she has to be. It can’t be that Max is actually attracted to her because he’s feeling super guilty for being into another girl beside Liz. When it’s all said and done and the gang figures out that Tess is actually an alien and she’s put some sort of whammy on Max, the damage is done and I trust Max a whole lot less.


I grew so fond of him and Liz and I believed in their love and to have someone come in and easily tempt him just sickened me. So yes, I hate Tess (trust me, it’s with good reason). And I still get upset watching Max fantasize about her.


And I’m not the only one who’s upset here. Seriously, my anger has merit as Michael is even pissed about the situation. When he was dreaming about Isabel and they thought that they were having an alien baby a few episodes prior, he fought off the urge and didn’t let his alien nature take over what he was feeling for Maria. So, how dare Max drag Liz down this rabbit hole? She loves him and we all believe that he loves her. He shouldn’t so easily allow Tess to destroy all of this. Michael’s got Liz’s back…and mine!


“Destiny” from Season One

After the last few episodes of Tess coming in and shaking up everything with Max and co. about their true heritage and nature, the gang decides that they need to know the truth about who they are. They allow Tess to guide them back to the cave where their ship crashed and where they get answers about their home planet and real relationship with one another. On their home planet, Tess is Max’s bride and Isabel and Michael are a couple. It just feels like too much is changing and everything is shattering. What about the humans that they have grown close to? Those relationships are the ones that I care about.


Liz does not want to be in the way of all of this destiny news, so she breaks up with Max. It’s heartbreaking. I mean, who is she to stand in the way of destiny? She feels insignificant. Max fights to stay with her because he truly does love Liz and it’s as big as all the news of his alien heritage. Michael and Maria also say those 3 little words and the finale is very emotional for all of the characters. Alex and Isabel have also steadily become closer during the season, but just as they’ve gotten somewhere romantic, Isabel chooses destiny.


Sheriff Valenti now knows what Max, Isabel, and Michael are. However, he’s conflicted about his duty to do something about it, because they save Kyle after the evil FBI guy, Pierce, shoots Kyle. All in all, the events of this episode breaks up the crew that we have come to love, but also clears up a lot of the alien mystery. Kyle and Sheriff Valenti no longer have to be on the outs, but Liz, Maria, and Alex have been pushed aside as their alien lovers are pulled into a world much larger than high school romances.


That feeling from “Blind Date” all of a sudden comes back with a vengeance as this whole romance with Liz and Max just feels like a dream and I all of a sudden have to wake up.


“Skin and Bones” from Season Two

For season two, The WB took some cues from Buffy and wanted the teens to look hotter. I saw nothing wrong with how everyone looked in season one, but of course, sex sells. I have no complaints either, but the hotness kind of distracted me from the story at times.


With all the stuff that went down in season one’s finale, relationships within the group have changed. Max and Liz are now broken up as Liz doesn’t believe that things can go back to how they were in the beginning between her and Max. She’s threatened by Max’s destiny with Tess, but Max tries to assure her that she’s the only one for him.

Michael and Maria are broken up too, as Michael tries to understand his alien-soldier destiny. Maria challenges him, but he stands firm on keeping his distance. You can tell that he still loves her, though, despite the new girl at the Crashdown, Courtney, constantly flirting with him. Turns out that she has a secret of her own. I honestly hated her character, so I’m not going to go into detail. I’m always annoyed when new characters join a season to break up the main cast and start trouble. Courtney was no exception and I became hotheaded every time she was on the screen.


This episode really hits me, because I’ve fallen in love with the idea that these characters are in love. But now they’re separated and they’re pushing each other away. It’s like I’m being broken up with multiple times. The heart ‘stings’ keep on coming. The best part about this episode is Mackabella’s “The Way You Are” playing in the background as the characters go their separate ways.

“The End of the World” from Season Two

This episode is amazing. It’s probably my favorite out of the entire series. I’ve talked about how addicting and beautiful Max and Liz’s romance is and this episode solidifies their true love while at the same time rips them apart. Seriously, I cry every time I watch this episode because it’s such a tragedy to see true love destroyed.


The beginning of the episode begins with future Liz and Max as they try to dodge some sort of doom coming their way. Future Liz tells Future Max to go back in time to make sure this doesn’t happen, which means that he needs to make sure that present Max and present Liz do not fall back in love. Their love means a terrible death for Liz in the future. What I love about this scene is seeing how long Max and Liz have been together and how strong their love has grown. It sucks that they’re still battling outside forces, but it’s bittersweet that they’ve grown older together.

Back in the present, Max tries to win Liz back by standing outside her window to serenade her. It’s definitely cheesy, but I can’t help but smile. Present Max isn’t worrying about the doom and gloom. He just wants his girl back. He’s not worrying about what the future holds or his alien destiny – he just wants to be Liz’s Romeo (but we all know how that story ends).

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Future Max appears to present Liz and of course, she’s stunned to see the older version of Max. It’s beautiful to see future Max seeing Liz back as she was when he first fell in love with her. It’s like all of those feelings rush back to him coupled on with the feeling of losing her in the future. He gets to spend time with her once more and she gets to see that for sure, Max is her end-game. However, the bad part is knowing that she meets her end because she falls and stays in love with him.

It hurts Future Max to see himself and Liz fighting and falling out of love and he knows that once she sees his future self and that longing in his eyes, that she still loves him and that he never stopped loving her. So what’s the point of fighting? What’s the point of pushing him away? Well, the point is that he is an alien and there’s a price to pay to be in love with him.

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Future Max needs to get Liz to fall out of love with him, but Liz knows that she loves him and it’s going to hurt her just as much to see present Max broken-hearted. The only way to do that is to enlist Kyle and pretend that they sleep together and to have Max witness them in bed.


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It’s nice to see Liz and Kyle catching up and bonding. Their friendship has surely blossomed over the years. Kyle is aware of the chaos of Liz’s life and how her choice to love an alien has affected everyone’s world. He just does what he can to let her know that he’s around and he still cares.


Max knows that Kyle is just a friend and that Liz has to be in some sort of trouble to result to something so dire to push him away. However, she insists that she’s not in love with him anymore and Max has to accept this and walk away.


The little set up does hurt all parties, including me. After all of the hurt, Future Max and Liz dance one last time to their would-be wedding song. Then, he fades away, leaving Liz alone. This episode just crushes me.

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“Meet the Dupes” and “Max in the City” from Season Two

This two-part episode is probably one of the most shockingly COOL episodes in the entire series. I really didn’t see it coming. The fact that we get to see different sides of the alien trio is amazing. Huge kudos to the acting chops of Behr, Fehr, Heigl, and de Ravin.


I honestly felt bad for Tess and felt her vulnerability. Her dupe character showed a reflection of being the girl in love with a guy that was in love with someone else and she was just a pun in some larger end-game that she wanted no part of. She just wanted her own identity. Her own story. Even the real Tess could see this.


Also, until this point, Max has been the good guy. He’s always been Mr. Right. Seeing his dupe version being so quickly dismissed and KILLED by his own crew reminded me of how much the real characters take his speeches and holier than thou attitude and self-righteousness. He stands up as a leader and this sometimes puts Michael and Isabel off. However, they love him and choose to follow him. The dupes…not so much.


Michael and Liz’s relationship started off strained and he resented her for how easily Max exposed their secret identities because he fell in love with her. All of the chaos and big revelations can be traced back to the day in the Crashdown when Liz was shot and Max saved her with his alien powers. So for the most part, Michael and Liz bickered until Michael realized how much Liz loved Max, and Isabel, and himself. And he loved her too. She was now family. By the end of season one, Michael and Liz had an understanding that they were all in this together.



The hilarious thing about “Meet the Dupes” is an alternate reality of Michael falling for Liz. It’s hilarious, ridiculous, and downright scary.





Liz and co were lucky to have met the normal aliens and not the dupes, otherwise, this would be a totally different story.

“Heart of Mine” from Season Two

The thing about this episode is that it truly makes your heart hurt. It’s filled will joyous moments and then heartbreaking and then joyous again. You’re on this rollercoaster (as cliche as that sounds) and you feel like your world is spinning. You’re emotionally going through loops, spiraling, and coming to a screeching halt. We travel through this episode mostly from Liz’s perspective as she narrates. At the beginning, she’s seen spinning and dancing in her socks.

heart of mine

By this time, the group has gone through the most, but they all come together for their junior prom. It’s time to push aside all of the alien destiny explorations, and boogie on the dance floor. Michael and Maria bicker as usual because Michael tells Maria that he’s not going to prom. For the most part, they’ve come to terms with their relationship and keep each other close by even though Michael puts distance in between them. He knows that he loves her. She loves him. They will fight, but they’ll make up somehow. It’s the sweetest thing.

michael and maria

michael and maria

michael and maria

Michael really has become more human and has given into his love for Maria. She seems to be the only thing that makes sense to him. He even takes dance lessons with a mysterious Juanita to help him make Maria’s prom night perfect. It’s great seeing the look on Michael’s face as Maria realizes that she has been foolish and overacting and jealous. Michael knows it’s all out of love and it’s amazing that someone truly cares about him so much. I’m so glad that he decided to pursue Maria.

michael and maria

Isabel finally realizes that Alex is the guy for her, and Max and Liz totally have broken up, but they decide to go prom together for old times sake. Liz has been hanging out more with Sean, Maria’s older cousin. By the way, it’s Brian Krackow from My So-Called Life.



Kyle has been spending a lot of time with Tess as she has moved in with the Valenti’s.


Since it’s a special occasion, they all put aside their differences and come together as a group, more or less. However, Liz warns us that all may not be smooth sailing as it seems.

roswell gif 12

Liz’s narration: “And there we were. All together, with everything we’d all been through over the last two years. The battles we’d fought, the relationships that were formed, the feelings for each other, stronger than any feelings we’d ever known could exist. And somehow in this moment, I had this really strong, really upsetting feeling, that this was the last time we’d all be standing together.” 

Once they are all at prom (minus Michael…because he’s being mysterious about his whereabouts), the truth starts pouring out and the facade of normalcy comes crashing down for some of the gang.


True feelings are shared: Isabel really does care about Alex…romantically, Tess only sees Kyle like a brother, Liz and Max can’t get back to how things used to be, and Michael shows up to woo Maria with his not-so-learned dancing skills.

But the big exchange of feelings is between Max and Tess. They finally give into their destiny and kiss. This really sucks, because Liz has a last-minute realization that maybe she’s being too stubborn to make things work with Max. But then there’s an awful blow to our guts as Liz sees Tess and Max.




Oh my god, it’s REALLY OVER! Maybe it’s a good thing for Liz to have a way out from all of this madness and fall in love with someone normal? It’s bittersweet. At the very end, Liz begins writing in her journal again (like she used to in season one) and she states that:

“We try to live responsible, logical lives. But we can’t tell our hearts how to feel. Sometimes our hearts lead us to places we never thought we wanted to go. And sometimes our hearts can be the sweetest, gentlest things we have. Sometimes our hearts can make us feel miserable, angry, excited and confused. All at once. But at least my heart is open. And I’m writing again. I’m feeling. I’m breathing.”

She’s seen dancing and talking with Sean after catching Max and Tess share the passionate kiss. It’s the kiss that she’s been trying to avoid seeing, but she knew that it would come eventually.

So, it happened…

I think Max was trying to avoid the same thing, but he knew that learning about his true heritage from Tess would bring them closer and through their nature – they were bound to become intimate. I mean she was his “young bride” on their home planet. After a little heart to heart with Liz on the dance floor, they both conclude that it’s “really over” and Max is shattered. Vulnerable. Tess just happens to come in and console him. Seeing Max sitting in the chair after he and Liz really break up really does hurt. He’s been doing all that he can to keep them together despite all of the alien heritage mumbo-jumbo. There’s been so much weirdness going on, but he’s been trying to stay grounded with his love for Liz. How can he love someone so much and not be destined to be with her? It just doesn’t make sense to him. How can someone else be his soulmate?



Even though Liz knows that she and Max are supposed to end up together, she also knows that it ends in tragedy. Their whole relationship has been filled with love and tragedy. Whenever they would find each other, something else comes crashing in. Like Tess. When it’s all said and done in this episode, Max looks truly lost after sharing a kiss with Tess. Liz looks happy as she comes to terms with the breakup and talking and dancing in her socks with Sean. She’s getting to know someone else.


On another note, it’s great to see Maria and Kyle bonding in this episode. Kyle has really become one of my favorite characters in the series for his comedic naivete and relationship with the other characters.





“Cry Your Name” from Season Two

Something I’ve talked about a lot in my grad school personal statements is my attachment to characters in favorite TV series. I oftentimes use TV to escape the real world’s problems…especially today. I understand that TV is fiction, but when the screen begins to mirror reality, it’s a surreal draw into the story. Real life is fleeting and unpredictable. When people die, that’s it. They don’t return as part of some plot twist to explain their absence. Characters on TV become my friends and family and I root for them to survive the craziness of the plot. If they do die, I want them to wait in purgatory and return with stories to tell (cough, Supernatural).

In all seriousness, I only expect this in shows that are supposed to be rooted in science-fiction and fantasy. If a show like Grey’s Anatomy kills a character off (and it certainly does) and they return, there better be a highly logical and rational explanation for their reappearance. When any series, fantasy or drama, suddenly kills a character and they are really gone, I experience a sickening reminder of life and death. The characters have to cope. I have to cope with the loss of those whom I have become attached to. Roswell is no exception as Alex is suddenly killed off in “Cry Your Name”.


It’s a complete punch in the gut and the episode is so eerie. The first time watching it, I was so sick that I had to pause the episode several times to get through it. I was hoping that it was some sort of alien-twist of fate, but when Max is unable to heal Alex back to life, I lost it. Just like Liz. In fact, Liz is basically me throughout this entire episode. I am upset that the creators allowed Alex to die just like how Liz is upset that her friends easily accept Alex’s death and try to convince her that her theories of foul play are nonsense.

And I’m not going to lie, Liz’s personality this season created some distance between my love for her character. In the beginning, I loved that she and Max had such a strong connection and that she was normal and kind. However, as Tess enters the picture Liz allows herself to give up even before Future Max assures her that the end for them is fatal. I don’t think that she had to accept that. She should have said screw it and fought harder for Max like he did for her. It was like she felt entitled to have Max’s affections and the fact that his destiny sensibly got in the way made her annoyed that he had to deal with things that were entering his life and not 100% focusing on her. She began to have this stone cold look on her face whenever Max would try to talk to her and it chipped away at how much I loved her in earlier episodes.

You are cold as ice.

“Heart of Mine” actually revived my love for Liz and I accepted her maturity about her situation with Max. Now I was pissed at Max for allowing Tess to screw everything up for him and Liz. If it was true love, he shouldn’t have allowed it to be over. So with all of that, Liz and Max are more distant than they have ever been. At this point, them getting back together seems very unlikely. Coupled on top of that, one of Liz’s best friends is now dead. The person that she put on the back-burner for so long for Max and the alien A-team is now gone forever. Just like that.


It’s like everything comes rushing to the surface for Liz and she is pissed. It just has to be the aliens fault. Even if they didn’t have a direct hand in killing Alex, the fact that Liz wasn’t paying attention to him as much as she could have been if she wasn’t dealing with Max and Tess could have made her more available to Alex and prevented his death. Liz puts it all on the aliens and doesn’t try to hide that she will figure out the truth. It’s “The Departure” from the once sweet and kind Liz to the ‘somebody-will-pay-for-this’ vengeful Liz. And I don’t blame her.

roswell season 2 the departure

This episode is great and a total wake-up call for me to watch these characters more closely and enjoy my time with them. I honestly took Alex for granted just like Liz and his absence certainly cuts deep. At least Michael stands by Maria to help her get through the pain. Alex was her best friend too.

michael and maria

I also feel bad for Isabel, because she finally let someone in and found someone that she loved and trusted and he’s ripped away from her. If she would have admitted her feelings sooner to Alex, she would have had more time with him. Doesn’t it all feel just too real?


“The Departure” from Season Two

Liz discovers the truth about what happened to Alex. Spoiler alert – Tess killed him. Liz knew that there was something fishy about the whole situation. Max ended up sleeping with Tess in an earlier episode and now Tess claims that she’s pregnant and the baby can’t survive on earth. How convenient.


Before she completely fools Max, Michael, and Isabel to going back to their home planet to save the baby, Liz shows up to reveal the truth and it’s ON! Max is wrecked with guilt and pissed that Tess not only seduced him, but she killed Alex and destroyed his relationship with Liz. Now she’s supposedly carrying his baby that he has to save.


Max ultimately wants to kill Tess, but he makes the right decision (I guess) and just sends her off back to their home planet.

Tess, bye!

The sad part about this episode is that Tess used her alien powers to whammy Kyle to be her accomplice in Alex’s death. She makes him believe that he is putting luggage in the car, but it’s actually Alex’s body. Yikes! That’s going to scar him for life along with the fact that Alex died the day before Kyle’s birthday. Gosh, I hate Tess.

The best part about this episode is Michael realizing that he truly loves Maria and he doesn’t want to leave her. They sleep together and Michael is the most vulnerable that he’s ever been. He knows where is heart belongs and that is home.

michael and maria

“The Departure” is actually the departure of the greatness of this show. Season three has poor writing and most of the storyline seems rushed and not thought out too well. I mean there’s also a lot of weird things that go on in season two that are kind of annoying and less interesting (Michael’s human family? The skin aliens? Sean?). I’ll list what I think are highlights from season three and what are just “WTF” plot moments.

Highlights from Season Three

1. Michael is happier and less broody than usual. He’s often smiling, being quirky, and hanging out with Kyle, Maria, and Max. Also, I love his hair this season. When I first watched season three, I obsessed over Michael’s long hair. Also, the ‘Snapple’ episode is hilarious.

2. Liz and Max are back together. It’s great that after everything they have been through, Max and Liz are solid. However, their relationship seems to be off at the beginning of the season. I honestly feel like they have been brainwashed and are not the same Max and Liz from season one. Every once in an episode I’ll catch a glimpse of what they used to be. With all of that, I just love that they get married in the end. It’s beautiful.

max and liz 2


3. Kyle being Kyle and his relationship with everyone, especially Isabel. When Alex was around, I felt like maybe he and Isabel were an odd couple but I accepted that he loved her and she eventually fell for him. Kyle seemed to be focused on Liz’s well-being and later Tess’s. However, Kyle and Isabel are a duo that I totally ship. His comedy plus her sass is a pleasure to watch on the screen.




Though there is a bit of a problem that gets in the way of Kyle winning over Isabel, and it’s not because he’s now a Buddhist.


4. Seeing everyone hanging out and just being normal. This show is wild, but the gentle moments of the characters being regular teenagers and hanging out always puts a smile on my face. They’re more relatable.





WTF Moments from Season Three

1. Liz and Max are rebels who wear a lot of black. When did they become rebels and why is Liz acting all bad-ass? It just doesn’t suit them. Is this another take on “Meet the Dupes”, because I miss my sweet and adorable Liz.

We’re here for the Snapple.
That’s better.

May I also include the WTF moment of Liz having alien powers? That whole plot was cringe-worthy.


2. Isabel is barely recognizable with her new hairdo and she gets married to a new character. I don’t hate the haircut, but it’s so drastic that Isabel just doesn’t look like Isabel. Also, she just does it with little to no explanation. Her marriage is a shocker, because not only does she marry a new character but it just seems so out of character for her to put love at the forefront. If she was going to marry anyone, it should have been Kyle.


roswell isabel wedding


3. Maria pushes Michael away. The fact that Maria plays with Michael’s heart this season frustrates me. I get that she wants him to keep up his place and be more ambitious, but breaking up with him and dating someone else when he’s become so open is just annoying. Look how long it took for him to shake away that hard exterior. In the end, he declares his undying love for her, but I honestly don’t know where they stand. She doesn’t deserve him.


All in all, this series is amazing and got me through some of the most challenging times in college. Instead of becoming overwhelmed, I had Roswell to keep me sane and entertained. I hate that I missed the reunion at the ATX TV Festival. I was so close by! It seemed like fate that they would reunite so soon after I discovered them and in my location.


Watch the show, guys! It took me forever to write this and I’m so glad that I can finally share it with you all.

P.S. I really love Kyle and I love how he turned out to be a completely different character than I thought he would from the pilot episode. He turned out to be so lovable and caring and I thought he’d be the typical high school jock/scorn ex-boyfriend that would vow to make Liz and Max’s relationship a living hell. Nope! He’s the greatest.


‘Til next time!

Update: I was able to see Nick Wechsler over the summer at ATX Television Festival (Season 7). He’s so charming.



Music: “Love Songs for Robots” by Patrick Watson

“Get up, you get up, get up!”

This song is very emotional for me.

Every day I try to block my thoughts about how lonely I really feel. I keep pushing myself towards goals that I only set for myself and setting obstacles that only I believe will get me to these goals. It’s tiring. It’s exhilarating. It’s also just a way for me to stall. I’m stalling myself from living fruitfully and honestly.

If I had it my way, I’d be living in a whimsical little town where I’d shop at a farmers market and I’d write about everything that made me happy. I would KNOW what made me happy. I would meet people that shared my views and we would have fulfilling conversations in coffee shops. I would travel to see music artists that made time stop and I’d feel like I was on top of the world. Artists like Patrick Watson.

I wouldn’t live in fear. And not just fear of the unknown or outside forces, but also fear of myself. Guys, I’m honestly afraid to live my life the way that I truly want it to be. And it’s not entirely about failure. It’s not about me not being strong enough to pursue my dreams.  It’s how I go about them. I give myself these little limitations to keep myself in check. I like having some kind of control over myself, which means that I allow others to have control over me as well. That way, I’m not truly free to get myself into situations that may be hard. But honestly, living means that you face all that life has to throw at you and you can’t always come out on top. You have to be unafraid to step out there and soar as high as you can. There may not be a perfect calculation or formula to how you get to achieve your dreams. It may be messy. It may be a little unpredictable.

I put myself in a stronghold to feel some kind of security. I honestly don’t know what it is, but I’m afraid of something. Maybe it’s failure. Maybe it’s loneliness. Maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, the point of this is that this song tends to bring out these emotions and these thoughts. My entire life, I’ve felt like I’ve just been so lost. I’ve been moving in circles or moving in misdirections trying to get to some mirage. I’d think that I’ve found my destination, but it’ll move further and further away from me the more steps that I took towards it. I push people away and I stick close to people that are poisonous to my mind and spirit. Sometimes that means family.

I also push people away or keep them at an arm’s length. But I also stick close to people that are poisonous to my mind and spirit. I don’t have a real idea of what love is or what it feels like to be in love. I also don’t know if it’s a necessity of life, but I feel like it should be. I think I’d be ok with looking up and seeing someone from across the room that made everything feel right. That made it all seem beautiful. And I’d equally make them feel the same way. When it comes to that sort of thing, love or romance, I become something of a droid. Thinking that if I say this or if I behave exactly like that – it’ll be correct. It’ll be the way to show exactly how I feel. But no. It’ll just make me look and sound like someone else.

Songs like these are what open my mind to all the beauty in the world. I forget sometimes that the world doesn’t revolve around me and I am a part of something huge. Something that my mind can’t fathom. But while I’m here on earth, I should try to let joy in. I should try to give myself a little breathing room and not bully myself. I should be more open and be more myself. I should just be.

Basically, this song is truly a love song for robots.

‘Til next time.


TV: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer

Music Recommendation: “Wild Horses” by The Sundays (Re: The Rolling Stones)

Alright, so I tried to ease you all into my loaded brain of fictional obsessions last year, but it’s about to get real! This year I want to talk about some of my all-time favorite series and maybe even do part-twos or threes on the series that I posted about last year. The thing about television is that there’s always something new to discover the more you watch it or you can talk about different aspects of episodes, seasons, and the series as a whole. Or, you can focus on the key themes that link one specific series to others. My last big TV post was on Supernatural and as I was writing it, I couldn’t help but think about my other favorite series with similar thematic structures.

And with that said…


The fact that I’m even attempting to write a blog post about why Buffy, the Vampire Slayer is one of the most amazing / intelligent television shows in the history of television is INSANE, because I honestly can’t express everything in mere words and plus, I’m not an expert on all things Buffy or even Joss Whedon (for that matter) – even though I think that I am. But you know, I can’t just not write about Buffy. I mean, it’s BUFFY!

I’ll start with how I got into the series. It was my senior year of high school and I was in the midst of applying to colleges and taking on an internship while in school. So, I was going through two huge changes in my life: working for the first time and getting ready for college. You know how college admissions ask for personal essays and statements to explain why you’re a good fit for a certain school / program or why college is even something that you want to do?

Well, like I mentioned in previous posts, high school was just not for me. I felt out of place from day one and just having to go through the motions along with the politics of cliques and clubs and your childhood friends ch-ch-changing just wasn’t something I cared about putting my energy into. After the first semester of freshman year, I was simply over it.

High school? Nah, I’d rather watch Buffy.

I was a model student, though, and I think the best part about high school was the opportunity to apply to college my senior year. I made sure that I focused all of my energy into getting into college. However, the free time that I had outside of college apps and working – I started watching shows that I wanted to watch when I was younger, but I had  never got around to them back in the day. Buffy was on my list and from the pilot episode (there are two versions) I was more than ready to start binge watching. Six or seven years later, I’m still wishing I was a part of The Scooby Gang.

Let’s watch all of the seasons!

I also think that it’s hilarious that Sarah Michelle Gellar was actually a part of the original Scooby Gang as she played Daphne in the live-action Scooby Doo films.

Buffy honestly got me college-ready. The wit and the experimental story ideas (season four’s Hush, for example) really made me decide that television (and writing) was absolutely what I wanted to study. Joss Whedon became something of a GOD to me in terms of writing and directing TV, so of course I watched Angel, Firefly, and Doll House after Buffy. If Whedon’s name is on it, I’ll watch it. The whole concept of ‘smart’ writing never really clicked until Buffy and I’m honestly glad that I started watching when I did, because I probably wouldn’t have appreciated the series as much as a kid.


Yeah, sure the vampires and supernatural beings would have definitely peaked my interest as a kid, but the actual writing and stylistic filming techniques probably would have went over my head. Not to say that I was a dumb kid or anything, but watching the show at the time of applying to college and deciding on my major was just perfect timing. Once I began college, I wrote about Buffy every chance that I got. It’s just one of those shows that you could branch so many topics off of like: feminism and post-feminism, life and death, the strange and familiar, adolescence, and of course, the human obsession with vampires and the supernatural.

buffy twilight

To not make this post an academic essay (or several essays), I’ll just maybe mention these elements within some of my favorite episodes (as well as talk about why I love these episodes) and what they meant as stepping stones in Buffy’s Slayer journey.

And there are tons of SPOILERS for those of you who still haven’t seen the series. I’ll stop you right now, because I would hate to ruin all of the juicy surprising moments in the show. Plus, you just have to watch and take in all things Buffy before you go off reading anything about it. It’s quite the journey, I promise. So, go watch it! Then, come back here.

I’m also going to do something different here from previous TV posts. Normally, I include a music recommendation at the beginning of each TV post (and I did here for Buffy as well), but I’ll also include a music ‘wish list’. Basically, since Buffy included a lot of underground or uber-original / not so mainstream music – a lot of the songs from the series aren’t really known about. You pretty much have to watch to know the music.

Since I love music as much as I love television, I tend to listen to something and think about other mediums totally unrelated to the song. There are of ton of pre / post-Buffy songs that I love and I actually begin to think about the series when I listen to them. I wish these songs could have been in the series and  I could totally see these songs performed at The Bronze or during a pivotal moment. Here are some of them:

Help I’m Alive – Metric

Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer?

Wolf Like Me – TV On the Radio

Howling. Forever.

Savior – 30 Seconds to Mars

willow goes dark
Don’t save me, cause I don’t care.

Silver Coin – Angus & Julia Stone

I’ll miss you when you’re gone.

Myxomatosis – Radiohead



Afraid – The Neighbourhood

Somebody else is going to end up being me.

Alright, let’s actually start talking about Buffy. I’ll try my best to keep organized, because I tend to go askew when talking about this series.

Season One – What Is a Slayer Anyway? 

“In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer.” – Pilot 

It’s funny that I discuss in my Supernatural post the concept of supernatural ‘hunters’ as it’s a show that came a little less than a decade after the premiere of Buffy. I talk about the women in the show and how there just has to be female hunters, because why wouldn’t there be? Well, now we’re here talking about the biggest and baddest female hunter of all. Buffy Summers. The [then] generation’s newest vampire slayer.


The first season of Buffy branched from the film that came a few years before it while at the same time becoming it’s own thing. The season focused on Buffy battling the monster-of-the-week (including a witch, a cyber-demon, evil hyenas, an invisible girl, and of course vampires) while also trying to keep up with the crowd in high school and do normal teenage girl stuff. She accepts her birthright of being ‘the chosen one’ that has to fight the baddies, but she also just wants to hang out with her friends, date boys, try out for the cheer-leading team, and possibly not fail her classes.


I just love Buffy this season with her bubbly personality. This is probably one of the campiest seasons of the series, but it covers a lot of ground work in terms of setting of thematic plots, characters and character relationships, as well as making the audience laugh. There’s a lot less doom and gloom (and I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy some of the doom and gloom in the series), which works because it’s the first season. It was the beginning of the journey and the perfect time for immaturity and fun and Buffy has a load of wisdom for us viewers and her newly founded Scooby Gang.


When I first watched season one, I laughed mostly at the fact that Buffy was the superhero. Like, I just loved how absurd it all seemed at the time. She would twirl her hair and have these little cute lolly-pops during the day while bantering with Willow and Xander, and by nightfall, she was the one staking vampires and fighting a ventriloquist dummy (who turned out to be the good guy).

I love hanging with you guys, but don’t forget we have to patrol tonight.

Buffy constantly tries to get out of Slayer training with her Watcher, Giles, who is there to guide her and ‘try’ to teach her the importance of strengthening her Slayer skills and stamina, plus he’s all about that research. He is a librarian, by the way. Buffy trains and follows his lead, but her mind is mostly on the who’s and what’s at Sunnydale High and at The Bronze night club (for teens apparently).


One of my favorite episodes from season one is Never Kill A Boy On the First Date. Buffy meets Owen, the mellow mature hottie from school that notices (mistakes) Buffy as focused and totally on his mature level. He’s right to an extent, because Buffy does have a lot of responsibility and balances out her school schedule with her Slayer duties as much as she can tolerate. Her blossoming relationship with Owen comes at an odd time when The Master (The Big Bad of the season) receives his anointed one. Basically, his man on the outside to raise some hell. For the longest time, we think it’s this paranoid super religious guy that gets turned into a vampire and kills a bunch of people on a bus. I mean, he ends up being pretty dangerous too, but he’s totally a red herring.

Anyway, as hell is being raised, Buffy ends up making Angel (the then unknown vampire) jealous with her new courtship with Owen. With all that I know about Angel now, this episode just gets better every time I watch it.

Mr. Steal Yo’ Girl

Owen, being the mature and protective guy, ends up following Buffy to her Slayer mission of the night (fearing that she’s in danger) and kind of gets in the way (no more than Willow and Xander – but they know and accept Buffy as the Slayer). So the basic point of the episode is to show the complications that Buffy faces trying to date a normal guy while having to seriously deal with the evil in town.

buffy maybe i like you

And then there was the Angel episode. Since the pilot, I fell in love with this guy. He pops in to give Buffy the scoop on what all the commotion is about in the underground, lingering just enough to make Buffy (and myself) fall for him and he for her. Then, he’s gone in a split second. Leaving us pining for him and wanting more. Angel gives us a chance to really hang out with Angel, which is all the more time to fall even more in love with him. He gets hurt and Buffy rescues him and invites him into her home for a sleepover. The tension is real! Here he is: tall, dark, and sexy. And here is little o’ Buffy, patching him up (he’s shirtless) and giving him a safe place to stay for the night. He’s in her bedroom without her mom knowing!


You know how you have that one guy in high school (or middle school) that you totally crush on. You think about him constantly. Well, Buffy actually gets to make her dream a reality. It’s so romantic and cheeky. What could go wrong here…


The season one finale, Prophecy Girl, shows Buffy and the team fighting all sorts of evil. The frightening part is that The Master actually rises and Buffy has to face him. Alone. She is terrified, because she doesn’t want to die. There’s so much more that she has to live for.


The first time watching this episode, I was so scared for Buffy. Sure, she’s been kicking butt all season. But, I didn’t know how bad The Master would be in terms of the main villain of the series. I didn’t know if she would lose someone close to her (because I knew that she would somehow live with all the other seasons waiting for me to watch). I loved that she had Xander and Willow at her side during her face-offs with the baddies. Seeing how quickly Jesse was killed off way early in the season, I was [not] ready to see who would be next.


Also, it still hadn’t sunk in that Buffy was the superhero in this story. I didn’t like the idea of her facing The Master alone. To me, it was like an innocent lamb up for slaughter. And indeed, Buffy dies in the episode, but it doesn’t stick. It does however trigger a loophole in the whole Slayer prophecy, which we don’t find out until later. Until then, The Master is put out of his misery and the world is saved, for now.

Also, I just love how snarky and crude Cordelia is in season one. It’s like she tried to avoid Buffy and her squad at all costs, but something always pulled her in. I especially love it when she allows herself to open up and be vulnerable.



Season Two – Surprise!

Season two of Buffy is definitely ranked high on my list of favorite seasons of the series and favorite seasons of television in general. The big curve ball towards the mid-point is one of the best smacks in the face that I’ve ever received while watching a television series. Also, the comedy is just amplified to another level with Seth Green joining the cast and the characters really finding their own. All of them add something special to the bunch.

cousin wiley
Seth, I knew you way back when.

The Scooby Gang is just on point this season with Oz, Cordelia, and Angel on board. We have the perfect balance of those that make us laugh, cry, angry, and those that make us think. There’s no one just taking up space and wasting time (cough, Riley). Everyone feeds off of each other’s personality, creating some of the best moments of banter.



We’re also introduced to Spike this season and he’s someone that we’re never going to be rid of. And that’s the way it should be. He and his sadistic lover Drusilla are our initial ‘Big Bads’ this season. Spike crashes into town, introducing us to a whole other level of villainy. Basically, we can’t really hate him, because we love him.


I remember thinking that I knew Buffy and that I could follow along with her journey pretty easily and that the show was somewhat predictable and straightforward, like the Slayer prophecy. Turns out, Buffy died last season so another Slayer had risen.

Buffy kendra

Doesn’t have the same ring to it, huh? And even though Xander did some CPR on Buffy to ‘resurrect’ her, she had still technically died. A prophecy is a prophecy. One falls and another rises.


The whole point of Buffy having so much responsibility and being ‘the chosen one’ to have to put her life on hold and save others is kind of debunked. There was technically someone else to lend a hand or even take over. Kendra has the equal amount of responsibility and capability to be The Slayer. Which comes in handy this season.


I also thought that bad guys were to be clearly detectable and the good guys were always the good guys. But, no. Season two was all about flipping the show on its head and letting the audience know that things aren’t always what they appear and the characters that we love can turn into the most frightening. Case in point: Angel.


Coming from the revelation of Angel being a vampire in season one, I already had a taste of what it could be like if Buffy had to take him down. However, season one set me up to trust Angel and to root for him and Buffy. And the first half of season two surely did.

buffy angel 1

Buffy was growing up and thinking more about Angel and growing closer to him – emotionally and physically. Angel is seen trying to push her away, but wrestles with the fact that he has fallen ‘madly’ in love with her.


Then, Surprise! Watching this episode (and part two Innocence) made me realize what the phrase ‘total eclipse of the heart’ really means. Thanks Bonnie Tyler. Seriously, I was over the moon for Angel. I was falling in love and realizing that I was falling in love with him – just like Buffy. It was wrong, but it was so right.


Watching them succumb to their love for each other tied my stomach in knots. I just wanted Buffy and Angel to forget about who they were and what their roles were in this whole good vs. evil plot. Then, badda-bing, badda-boom! Angel is no longer Angel. He’s this sicko named Angelus. Basically, he is his true vampire self. Soulless.

You didn’t see that one coming, did ya?

Angelus joins Spike and Drusilla and straight up disses Buffy. I’m just speechless. And heartbroken. I’m also mad as fudge and more intrigued and invested than I ever was in this series. (Also, if you’ve seen the series a couple of times or you’re just really observant the first time around – you can tell when Angel is Angelus by how chapped his lips are. Like, does having a soul mean that you invest in lip balm?) Anyway, Angelus is hanging out with the Big Bad duo –


and a heartbroken Buffy has to pick herself up and face facts. Angel is evil now and it’s her duty to put evil vamps out of their misery. But, maybe Angel is still in there – fighting to get out and love her again. Either way, they both have roles to play.


And if we thought that Angelus was not that bad and the Angel in him would suppress his evilness – um, no. Episode Passion shows us that because Angel loves Buffy, Angelus uses it to pervert their connection. He’s twisted and ‘passionate’ about killing Buffy and those close to her. I mean, she is the one responsible for making him feel like a man and he can’t forgive her for that.


We truly see the dynamic between Angel and Angelus in this episode. It’s probably my favorite out of all of my favorite Buffy episodes (I say that about all of my favorite episodes). David Boreanaz proves his acting range and gets to be an entirely different person. I love the music and the way Angelus stalks his prey. It’s like he can’t just kill and be done with it. He has to draw it out and be all poetic about it. As much as Angel loved Buffy, Angelus hates her even more. He’s invested in carefully and passionately taking her down.


We get a brief moment of Buffy and Angel’s relationship in I Only Have Eyes For You. Buffy is drawn to Sunnydale High after hours due to a series of ghost possessions and killings. Angelus follows her there, ready to taunt her and have her alone. They are both eventually possessed by the erratic and scorn lover ghost (Buffy) and the apologetic lover ghost (Angelus), which is the reversal of the gender roles of the originals. Buffy gets to air out her anger towards Angel, eventually shooting him. No one dies during the possession this time, because you know, Angelus is a vampire.

And Buffy calls Angelus a b*tch. It’s a moment that you definitely have to rewind.


“Don’t walk away from me bitch.”

It’s a relief to see that somewhere deep down, Angel is still in there. But, of course Angelus does all that he can to suppress him. Angel is back, but only for a moment.


Other highlights this season include Joyce standing up to Spike (which sparks their ‘friendship / toleration’ and even Spike’s admiration of Joyce) and Spike being in a wheelchair. I would also have to admit that this isn’t my favorite season with Spike, but it’s definitely my favorite with Angel. Buffy grows up a lot and has to make one of the hardest decisions in her life…so far. She learns the lesson of love and loss and what it truly means to put herself back together, believe in herself, and do what has to be done.

s2 angelus vs buffy

Sadly, she eventually feels that she has let her friends and family down by allowing herself to grow so close to a vampire and putting them all in danger. She eventually leaves Sunnydale – her way of keeping everyone out of harm’s way. The season is dark, but it definitely has its lighter moments.


I can’t forget to mention that Jason Behr guest stars in one of the episodes this season. Yes, Max Evans from Roswell – another one of my absolute favorite series. Sometimes I even question if I like it more than Buffy. They’re different in their own rights, but both series allow me to retreat into this calm that I honestly can’t describe. Maybe it’s the way the characters value each other and the lessons in life and love the shows emphasize. I’ll have a full post on Roswell soon.

Fan fiction.

Another great moment from this season is Giles’ effort to comfort Buffy in Lie to Me. Along with all of the crap that began to pile onto Buffy this season, this moment was a great way to stop and acknowledge that holy crap, Buffy is in for a lot more, more than she expects. It’s a moment that foreshadows what is to come and to be at least a little privy to understanding that the Slayer’s world is no where near black and white.

lie to me buffy

Season Three – Have A Little Faith

Season two always takes a lot out of me. By the end, I am heartbroken and shaken at the turn of events. During my first watch, I just couldn’t imagine how Buffy would recover leading into season three. Where would she be (mentally)? Who would she be? She lost the love of her life. And yes, I understand that she’s still in high school and has plenty of time to discover love again, but let’s be honest… Angel is the real deal. I didn’t care that I had only made it through two seasons. I knew that there were still five more to go, but Angel was it for me. I wasn’t going to tolerate any other love interest besides Angel (and I honestly think that Buffy was in the same headspace at the time).

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Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare…

Of course, I also knew that Angel would eventually get his own series, so I wasn’t totally bummed or believed that he wouldn’t return. It was just the ‘when’ and ‘how’ this would all play out. Guys, this is what happens when you watch a series after it’s already off the air. You’re aware of some of the big things that will happen from word of mouth and catching snippets here and there. I can just imagine if I had watched Buffy while it was airing and I didn’t know if Angel would come back or if there would be more seasons or a damn Angel spin-off. I would just be stuck in season two, thinking about the good times…


But, because I was had all of this future knowledge, I jumped into season three like I had ants in my pants. The first time I watched it, though, I had a hard time with the whole Buffy moving to LA and having an alias as a waitress named Anne (her middle name). Of course after my initial run-though, I could appreciate the theme (lost souls looking for a savior / connection with someone) in this episode and how they later appear in the first season of Angel. Even the opening credits of Angel use some of the stock footage from this episode of Buffy.

Anne begins with Buffy trying to avoid any real responsibility or human interaction. She’s living under the radar, working in a little diner. She has noticeably lost her spark and kind of just avoids real eye contact with anyone.

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Bored now.

Buffy is a ‘lost soul’ in the city of angels, but is somehow sucked into the business of helping another teenage girl (and even more lost soul) search for her missing boyfriend. It turns out that demons are running this church that is secretly this underground society using lost human souls as slaves and stealing their youth. Before you know it, Buffy is kicking butt again and bringing the humans back to higher ground.

anne is buffy

This episode was strange for me to watch, because it felt weird being somewhere else other than Sunnydale. It felt even more odd once Buffy was underground in the demon dimension. I felt homesick without the Scooby Gang at Buffy’s side. And if I’m being honest, watching this episode gave me the similar feeling that I had when I went off to my college freshman orientation. I was on my own, in a new place without familiar faces. I quickly began to feel empowered and capable of doing things my way, but it was definitely a process. There was this pit in my stomach of falling down the rabbit hole and never finding my way back. It was scary stuff, but I’m definitely not saying that going to college felt like being in a hell dimension. It was just foreign to me in the beginning and I had to find my footing.

Student loans!

And the episode wasn’t solely based on Buffy in LA. We get to see the Scooby Gang handling their own in Sunnydale. Just because Buffy headed out of town doesn’t mean that the Hellmouth decided to close up shop for the summer. If anything, the vamps probably felt like they had free range to terrorize more so than usual. But the Scooby Gang wasn’t going to let that happen. Little did they know that there was a bigger bad preparing for an ascension.

scooby gang anne

What would Buffy do?

Back home, Buffy faces some understandable hostility from Joyce and her friends, especially Willow. I’m on the fence to who’s side I’m on, because on the one hand: Buffy is someone with this great responsibility and by letting her guard down and falling in love like a regular teenager, she released a great evil on her friends, family, and herself. At the same time, she lost the love of her life. Even before she had to physically vanquish him. He was gone the moment they consummated their love. What does that do to a person? Her friends weren’t easily understanding that.


On the other hand: Buffy wasn’t getting that she was the one that her loved ones depended on and that they were not built to fight her battles. She can’t just take a vacation and throw in the towel and give up. Who’s going to fight for them when the Big Bad decides to wreck havoc? Buffy is reminded of her role in the larger picture. She’s the Slayer. The one. The only (for now). Eventually they all air it out and Buffy and Willow are solid once again after literally raising the dead with their bickering in Dead Man’s Party.


Adding on to the mess leftover from season two, lord behold Angel returns at the end of Faith, Hope, and Trick. He’s back in town and he’s more damaged than ever. He’s drawn back to Buffy, but she’s more than hesitant to fall back into his graces. He needs her to set him straight. All of the awful things that he did last season plus his earlier crimes as Angelus come rushing back to haunt him. ‘The First Evil’ takes advantage of his vulnerability and tries to recruit him into the army of evil. Angel can only stand his ground, because of Buffy. His guard. His heart. His soul.

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And explaining to her friends and family that she is hanging out with Angel (first of all explaining that he’s back) is not an easy thing to do. They do not trust him, and rightfully so. Even as Angel himself tries to lend a hand, they treat him with resentment and they are on their guard. I mean, he did terrorize them and kill Jenny Calendar, Giles’ girlfriend, last season. You can’t just easily forgive that. But somehow, Buffy does. The more time she spends with him, the more she learns about herself and the art of balance. Angel has more of a purpose to keep going, eventually understanding that he has his own destiny to adhere to.

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Buffy sees the good in Angel and grasps that it wasn’t him that did those terrible things. Even though – it was his inner demon. So that’s the wedge in their relationship. They try to make it work, but with caution. They cannot give into temptation ever again. But love is love and they can’t deny that. Even Spike has a thing or two to say to remind them.


Making matters more interesting, we have a new girl in town. Kendra was killed in season two (by Drusilla) so that triggered the Slayer prophecy line once more. A Slayer rises as one falls. So, ladies and gentleman, I present to you, Faith.

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And it’s all fun and games when Faith first arrives. She’s edgier and definitely more hardcore and sly than Buffy. She’s a bit rough around the edges and tries to get Buffy to loosen up, learn about some facts of life, and be more street-smart and indulge in their Slayer-hood.


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Out goes the orthodox way that Giles has set for Buffy with taking care of school, patrolling, then having a social life. Teaching her that there’s an order to things. Faith blurs the line between patrolling and having a social and free life. She does whatever she wants and doesn’t do well with rules. She sees herself and Buffy as higher beings. They were born to be strong and take out ‘bad guys’.

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buffy and faith dance gif

However, Faith becomes more jealous of Buffy’s sense of security and righteousness. She’s the ‘main’ Slayer. The correct one. The one with a support system: a mom, a Watcher (who’s also a father-figure), friends, a boyfriend, and a purpose. And how the hell does Buffy get a pass to be in charge when she’s dating a vampire? Faith is both annoyed and intrigued that Buffy and Angel have a relationship. He’s the definition of danger, and Buffy’s living on the edge.


Eventually, though, Giles is booted from being Buffy’s Watcher due to the whole Angelus ordeal. Giles is just too close to Buffy and their professional relationship has somehow transformed into more of a familial relationship. And that’s somehow distracted him from keeping Buffy in line (which sounds like a load of bologna to me). Wesley is the new Watcher for Buffy and Faith, but of course, Buffy’s respect aligns with Giles. Wesley is young and impressionable, but he’s not taken seriously as a Watcher. Not even by Giles. He can’t control or even instruct the girls, so things get out of hand.


Giles: *rolls eyes*

Faith’s blurred sense of morality leads her to kill an actual person and she seems to be more nonchalant about the whole ordeal than distraught. Buffy is more than frightened by the situation and remembers that there are lines that just cannot be crossed. Just because they are Slayers does not make them gods.


Faith soon falls prey to being the sidekick of the evil Mayor of Sunnydale – this season’s Big Bad. He gives her a sense and source of love and respect. He’s like a father to her as he guides her to be all of the evil that she can and wants to be.

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Mayor Wilkins knows best.

Now Buffy has to battle it out with Faith. She even tries to get Angel to teach Faith about redemption, and I honestly believe that what Angel says to Faith sticks, even if only a little. This begins their companionship later seen more on Angel. If anyone can set her straight and face her demons and try to redeem herself – it’s Angel. He becomes a life coach or mentor. A different connection than he has with Buffy. Angel has to pretend to have reverted into Angelus to get close to Faith and the Mayor with some very convincing acting skills. I was definitely convinced, and so was Faith.

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With that, Angel realizes his larger part in the whole good vs. evil dynamic. He still has to redeem himself and have a larger purpose. This leads him to breaking things off with Buffy and deciding to move on to Los Angeles after the battle with The Mayor’s ascension during graduation. Graduation Day (parts one and two) along with The Prom are some of my favorite episodes this season.

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buffy grad

Other things that I love about season three include Angel’s new found sense of humor. It’s like he can joke about the lows (and creepiness) of being a vampire and the awkwardness of being so much older than his girlfriend. He’s from another time and Buffy’s sense to be a normal couple is just ridiculous. He can’t even go outdoors in the daylight (we really need those daylight rings from The Vampire Diaries or at least the *Gem of Amara* from season four).


And there’s Buffy and Cordelia’s rivalry. Buffy is Queen B in terms of the supernatural. She can kick butt and face evil, but Cordelia is even more of a force to be reckoned with in the hallways of Sunnydale High.



Oz continues to be an absolute gem in the Scooby Gang. His dry sense of humor (re honesty) and sarcasm include some of the best one-liners in the series.


Cordelia’s new found sense of hate towards Buffy and The Scooby Gang (Xander cheats on her with Willow) allows her to set her eyes elsewhere – on Wesley. This whole romantic encounter doesn’t become funny until Angel. Because, who were they kidding?

Just wait until I’m a rogue demon-hunter.

She also lets her steam out on Xander gave every opportunity. One of her digs at him creates an entire episode, The Zeppo, where Xander is the center of story A and Buffy and the rest of the gang’s plight to save the world (yet again) is story B.

Cordelia vs Xander

With all of that, season three is definitely a strong season. Having Faith join the series gives us the opportunity to see what it would be like to have a Slayer with no boundaries. A rogue Slayer. What’s great about Faith is that though she’s bad, we want to save her and open her eyes to see that she can change. And sometimes it seems like she wants to be someone else…

With all the evil in the Buffy universe, having [one of] the Chosen One(s) turn into something even more wretched really amplifies the grayness of the series. How much bad does one have to do before they become villains? And are some bad guys actually good, because they try to live civilized? Though Faith is put in a coma by Buffy this season, we haven’t seen the last of her.

buffy vs faith

Buffy also puts in a real effort to just be a normal teenager this season and tries to enjoy her last year in high school – despite all of the evil that lines up to take a few swings at her. You would think that she’s given up on wanting a ‘normal life’ by now, but she really puts herself out there to be more than just a Slayer.

buffy feminism

Buffy even campaigns against Cordelia for Homecoming Queen. They both end up in a hilarious kidnapping scheme but make it back to school in time to see that they both lose. Their dry-cleaning bill must have been a nightmare afterward.

buffy and cordelia homecoming

This season also gears Angel up to be on his own and he becomes lead character material. I hate that he leaves the series at the end of this season, but it’s nice that we get to focus on him on his own turf. And of course, I’ll have a post on Angel, as it is also one of my favorite shows of all time.

So, here’s my side of the story…

…and once again Spike and Joyce have a moment.

spike s3

Season Four – The College Year 

The gang is all grown up. They have left the halls of Sunnydale High (mostly because it got blown up during The Mayor’s ascension last season) and they now walk the halls of UC Sunnydale. Bigger halls. Bigger stakes. It’s time for the Buffy college experience.

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Beer. Good.

The thing I love about The Freshman, the season opener, is that it’s kind of a reboot to the series. It realigns the characters with new locations and duties. Giles is now unemployed and Xander is living in his parent’s basement. Buffy, Willow, and Oz are freshmen in college and they’re finding their comfort zones in this new territory. Upon first watching this season, I was anxious to see what the Scoobies would do without Cordelia and Angel – who are gone off to Los Angeles. Plus, I was wondering if we’d ever see Faith again. Anya is introduced in season three and though I didn’t care much for her then, she becomes a “treat” this season and beyond with her brutal honesty, inability to take things figuratively,   fear of bunnies, and her unhealthy addiction to money.

buffy anya sarcasm

In The Freshman, Buffy can’t keep up with her friends as they actually find things that interest them in college. Willow has always been studious, so she’s amped for classes and practicing her witchcraft. Oz is no stranger to campus as his band regularly plays there. It all boils down to Buffy feeling insecure about college as she’s not familiar with the new turf. Not even for her Slayer duties. Plus, her new roommate is excruciating to live with and has an unfit obsession with Celine Dion.

The next episode Living Conditions further touches on Buffy’s new roomie and it’s hilarious. It prepared me for the types of roommates that I could have gotten stuck with in college. Fortunately, my freshman year roomie was a friend from high school and we had a blast together. We’re still close today.

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More on The Freshman – Buffy eventually meets a pretty decent guy who’s struggling with the new college experience as well, however, he goes missing and a bunch of hardcore vamps rade his room for his possessions. Later, Buffy’s side of the room gets cleaned out too and the vamps leave a fake note insinuating that Buffy has left school because she just couldn’t handle it. Buffy meets up with these vamps and gets her a** handed to her by the leader, Sunday. After a pickup talk with Xander at the Bronze, Buffy comes to terms with who she is and regains her confidence. She and Xander team up to confront Sunday and Buffy shows her what she’s really made of.

buffy what would buffy do

buffy stake1
I still got it.

Now that Sunnydale High is destroyed, the Scoobies usual meetings in the library with Giles are a thing of the past. Giles is no longer their librarian, so he’s living it up in his bachelor pad with a new girlfriend, Olivia.


It doesn’t take long for everyone to make Giles’ apartment the new hangout spot and they discover that Giles isn’t just some dusty librarian, but a normal guy. Who knew!


One character that will soon make Giles’ place his own home (prison) is Spike, who pays everyone a visit in The Harsh Light of Day. Buffy seems to get this whole college thing under control and even meets a new guy, Parker. Figuring that things are falling into place, she runs into Spike and Harmony (one of Cordelia’s high school besties who was turned into a vampire during graduation).

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I find this episode hilarious along with it’s Angel counterpart, In the Dark. I love Spike and he just gets better from season to season. Here, he’s in search of the Gem of Amara, a ring that will allow him to be indestructible. Of course Buffy can’t allow him to find or keep something that pretty much guarantees that Spike will become ruler of the underworld. Oh, what a thought!


And speaking of this new guy, Parker – he ends up charming Buffy just enough to sleep with her. He then leaves her high and dry in the morning, which becomes a running gag of guys leaving Buffy the morning after (cough, Angel). He’s exceptionally an a**hole to Buffy the next day, which teaches Buffy a valuable lesson and further makes her privy to the [sometimes cruel] college experience. Not to fear, though, this heartbreak leads her to open her eyes to see someone else, Riley.

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It sucks that Parker is such a jerk, but then again Riley has his head on his shoulders and is great for Buffy (for the moment). In the beginning, I really liked him and he kind of made me forget about Angel. Kind of. Ok, not really. I was doing this thing where I would watch an episode of Buffy’s fourth season and then follow up with an episode of Angel’s first season. It was a cool idea at first, and I got to see some of the continuations from one series to the other (like with Spike and the Gem of Amara).


The thing is, I began sizing Riley up with Angel and it affected my judgment of him, greatly.

Bro, do you even lift?

Trying to give Riley a fair chance, I just finished up Buffy and afterward submerged myself into Angel. I was beginning to notice Angel becoming more of its own standalone show anyway so the interchangeable watching wouldn’t have made sense down the line other than an episode or two. Angel aside, I thought Riley was decent and he becomes more important to the Scooby Gang as the season progresses. Heading into the fifth season, though, Riley starts to bore and annoy me. But, I’ll touch on that later. He’s a different kind of guy for Buffy. He’s the ‘good guy’, without much baggage – if we ignore the whole secret government demon hunting gig. We basically have ourselves a regular ol’ joe.


One of my other favorite episodes this season is Fear, Itself. Halloween is usually a special event on Buffy (for obvious reasons), and the series never ceases to amaze me with its Halloween episodes. Anya is now heavily seeking Xander’s affections and hanging around the Scoobies more. They’re all invited to a haunted frat house party and end up being prey to a fear demon, naturally. Anya is the one to realize that something is wrong and calls on Giles for help. Her costume is the stuff of legend. It almost beats out Oz’s original getup.


s4 anya bunny


Speaking of Oz, Seth Green decided to leave the series around this time to pursue his film career. Nothing wrong with that, as he stars in some of my favorite films including Rat Race and Without A Paddle. The thing is that Oz is in a relationship with Willow, so in order for Oz’s departure to make sense is to break them up and Joss Whedon is the king of tragic character sendoffs. Enter Wild at Heart, an episode that I hate to love or love to hate. This episode also introduces Tara – the Wiccan and someone who becomes very important to Willow. For now, let’s talk about Willow and Oz.


In a nutshell, Oz meets a female werewolf who’s also in a band. They have this animal attraction that causes Oz to cheat on Willow. Veruca, the she-wolf (literally), ends up being more animal than human and tries to go after Willow. Oz kills her and Willow and Oz breaks up, both distraught by his actions and the whole situation. Oz has to leave to learn how to be in control of his wolf form and to heal from the breakup. I love Oz and I hate to see him leave Willow. Their relationship was already tainted by Willow’s infidelity last season, but I thought that they were growing as a couple. This episode makes Seth Green’s departure epic rather than killing him off or just having him leave with some half-a** explanation.

willow oz breakup

The Initiative is probably the most important episode this season to really get the ball running on what we’re in for in terms of the Big Bad, and the show takes it’s time to even give us a Big Bad this season. Spike is captured by some guys in militant suits at the end of Wild at Heart. He’s then imprisoned in a government / militant hi-tech facility and blames everything on Buffy.

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Turns out that Riley is a part of this top secret group, The Initiative, where they track and hunt down vamps, demons, and supernatural creatures. So yeah, government funded male Slayers – without the super powers.

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Riley also realizes that he likes Buffy in this episode. This jump starts the storyline of The Slayer vs. The Initiative. Both have similar goals, but one of them seems to be questionable in terms of morality and incentive. Buffy is naturally born to do what she does while The Initiative seems to be in it for power. The funny thing is that Riley and Buffy are kind of like equals, but on the surface, they’re seemingly a rare fit. Go figure.

The most important thing that we learn this episode is that Spike is no longer able to bite or harm a human. He’s basically neutered and the allure of being a vampire is gone out the window. The Initiative implanted a chip into his brain to send nerve-scratching and painful surges if he tries to bite or harm a human (though this gets kind of iffy in season six). When he escapes his cell, he looks for Buffy and tries to bite Willow which sets off the instant pain. So why should anyone be afraid of Spike now? Easy, they shouldn’t.

Spike not scary

Which brings me to Pangs, my favorite of favorite episodes this season. Actually, it’s probably one of the funniest in the series. It’s Thanksgiving and Buffy and the Scoobies attend the opening of a new cultural center at the school. I mean, what else is a college for.

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Xander is there working on the groundbreaking and accidentally unleashes a Native American vengeance spirit. While Buffy attempts to cook a normal Thanksgiving meal at Giles’ place, the gang is all there to figure out what the heck is wrong with Xander. He’s infected by the spirit and appears feverish. His illness makes him paranoid and delirious, which I cannot help but laugh at!

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The gang is in for some surprise guests, including Spike, who miserably begs for help. He comes over during the day-time under his ratty blanket to keep from going up in flames. This blanket makes so many cameos and it’s always funny to see Spike flying inside in fear of combusting. That blanket is his safety net.

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Buffy allows him to stay under the condition that he’s tied up and bound to a chair. His chip makes him utterly pathetic in vampire norms, so why the hell not. Spike pitches in his two cents and complains about being mistreated. It’s just so ridiculous and ironic. He’s also in the worst condition when comes an attack on the gang.

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The second special guest is Angel! Angel pretty much lets everyone know that he’s in town to help Buffy, except Buffy – and Spike. While the vengeance spirit attacks at Giles’ place and Animorphs into a bear, Buffy desperately tries to fend him off while the others fight in the background. Buffy is unaware that Angel is right outside helping fight the good fight. Spike, now shot with arrows and impaled with various weapons, hops around fussing at Buffy for egging the spirit on. It’s just so much going on and the comedy is just perfect timing.

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The funniest thing is at the end of the episode when everyone is sitting at the table to finally enjoy their meal. Xander lets it slip that Angel was there all along and everyone looks at Buffy’s reaction. (Notice how Giles just sips his tea. Ooh, gossip!)


I’m sort of going through this season episode-by-episode mostly because I really love and enjoy season four. The season works so well due to the flow and freshness of the episodes. Coming from two seasons that were pretty dark, season four has a lighter tone – balancing with the more serious episodes nicely. In addition, Joss Whedon does something exceptionally experimental and brilliant this season: making the majority of an episode silent.

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Hush begins with a bunch of bickering and lingering and unfinished conversation. Buffy is trying to figure out the whole Riley relationship because the right words just don’t seem to come out. Giles sends Spike the to stay with Xander, which Spike and Xander immediately disagree too. Spike has gotten pretty comfortable at la casa del Giles, who just wants peace and quiet.

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Hush is probably one the creepiest episodes in the Buffy canon. It reminds me that this show is of the horror genre. Then, taking an analytical approach to watching television, you really have to stop and think about what it means to have a voice – literally and figuratively. The Gentlemen are the stuff of nightmares and watching them float around along with their flopping minions as the entire town goes silent just sends chills to my spine.

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The episode doesn’t skip on the comedy, though. Buffy, Giles, and the Scoobies try to figure out who The Gentlemen are and how they can stop them – all in silence. Of course, there’s a lot of miscommunication…

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Hush 4

Buffy Anya Hush

This is also the episode Riley and Buffy discover each other’s true identities and Willow and Tara connect. Actually, let’s talk about Willow and Tara. So, I mentioned Oz’s sad goodbye and Willow’s heartbreak. Willow later realizes that she’s falling for someone new, Tara. Yes, Willow discovers that she likes girls and it’s such a bold move for Joss Whedon and for network television.

We see Oz again in New Moon Rising (sounds like another Twilight sequel) and Willow finally opens up about her new relationship. I was crushed during this episode, because Oz and Willow are just a solid couple and they are just so darn perfect together. I like Tara and respect her and Willow’s relationship. Wouldn’t be fair to just drop Tara just because Oz comes back. I knew that Seth Green wasn’t coming back permanently anyway, which softens the blow. This episode just puts a pretty bow on top of the whole Oz and Willow relationship, making them both ok in the end.


Ok, before I move on to season five, let’s talk about two of the best episodes in the series. This Year’s Girl and Who Are You. Faith wakes up from her coma and all hell breaks lose. She wants blood and she’s going to get creative in how she gets it. First thing’s first is letting Buffy know that she’s ‘five by five’ and not in a forgiving kind of mood. Being is a coma only stalled her anger.

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When all else fails and the Watcher’s Council is on Faith’s trail, she uses a magical device (left to her by The Mayor) that allows her to switch bodies with Buffy. UH, OH. God, I was on the edge of my seat when I first watched this two-parter (it actually continues on Angel, so it’s more of a saga with Five By Five and Sanctuary). Faith is in Buffy’s body without her friends realizing at first. She really frames Buffy in a whole new light and we truly get to meet Faith without Eliza Dushku’s face. Its a strange thing to hear and see the dirty things she says to Spike. He’s even pissed off that he’s coming on to Buffy (Faith) after what she says.


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This episode is another Face / Off moment. If you read my Smallville post, then you know how much I love Face / Off and exchanged identities. We get to see the good and bad guys with two faces. We get to love and hate both faces at the same time. Think about it this way, I love Eliza Dushku as Buffy (I actually love her as Faith as well). We get to see Buffy’s goodness and innocence but with Eliza’s face. I have to remember that she’s not Faith. The same for Sarah Michelle Gellar: we all still see the rottenness of Faith but with Sarah Michelle Gellar’s face. Remember, she’s not Buffy!

The ordeal is kind of twisted and mind-boggling. You have to keep up with who you love and who you should fear. It’s like unleashing your worst enemy on your friends and family and they’re ignorant to the fact that you are not yourself. So, when you do something terrible and they do not realize that it’s not really you, you have to wonder how well some people know you. Even the one’s closest to you. I feel bad for Buffy here as she’s punished (as Faith) and no one’s buying her pleas. She’s basically trapped in a prison, getting exactly what she doesn’t deserve.

Other key moments that I love about season four includes the gruesomeness of The Big Bad, Adam. He’s part demon, machine, and human. I can play around with all sorts of deep analyses of what his character implies about humanity. Honestly though, I really do not care for the Big Bad this season. At least, I think he’s really pushed until the end and there’s just too much build up and little execution.


With all of that, I really enjoy Spike’s relationship with everyone this season. He goes from being a Big Bad to being a vampire with mixed intentions. The persons that he wanted to kill before become members of his dysfunctional family. And I think that he kind of enjoys having to tolerate them and them having to reserve from staking him. Spike and Giles’ relationship even becomes almost sibling-like.

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Restless, season four’s finale, is kind of strange or rather experimental. The first time I watched it, I was scratching my head – wondering what was going on and what was the meaning within the riddles and quizzical conversations. I actually felt like I was too dumb to watch Buffy or that I wasn’t smart enough to keep up with it. The episode is definitely an acquired taste. If you’re into experimental films / television where you absolutely have to pay attention and call forth prior knowledge while also playing the guessing game – this episode is for you. If you would rather just watch something more straight-forward, I would skip this episode.

buffy first slayer restless
I always feel like somebody’s watching me.

Depending on my mood, I stick it out and watch the episode or I skip it. As much as I love the series and as much as I watch it, I still have a hard time trying to ‘get’ the episode. It’s a little too complex to be a season finale as it opens up so many unanswered questions leading into season five. But being a Joss Whedon fan, I’ve recognized these types of episodes from a mile away in his other series. He does it in Firefly (“Objects in Space”), Dollhouse (“Epitaph One” and “Epitaph Two: Return”), and even in Angel (the Jasmine storyline). These episodes are Joss’s way to switch it up and do something totally different and target a niche audience. He’s basically making sure that we’re paying attention and that we’re thinking.

Season Five – Family and Sacrifice 

Season five is the first season that I had difficulty watching (before season six). It’s so different and darker than the seasons before it. Actually, it is just more mature and thought-provoking. Really big things happen to Buffy this season and she’s on this journey where she has to understand herself, as The Slayer. She also focuses on her family rather than falling in love while her friends have their own lives and loved ones to focus on. Buffy is all about tapping into her true strength and really learning her Slayer ability.

buffy training

The most obvious thing that’s different this season is Buffy having a younger sister. No, Joyce doesn’t get knocked up, Dawn’s existence is totally supernatural. She is introduced as no one special. She’s just Buffy’s little sis. Of course, if you’ve watched the previous seasons then you know that that is absolutely not true. Dawn is absolutely something special, because she just pops up this season and didn’t exist before. Now we have to think about all of the events in Buffy’s life in previous seasons and imagine that the whole time, Dawn was around. It’s strange, but so much fun to do. The funny thing is that before long, you actually get used to Dawn and it does feel like she’s been there all along.


The season begins with Buffy vs. Dracula, an episode plot that I went into knowing that I was going to hate it. I think if the actor/ character would have been less of a caricature of Dracula and more scary or more ‘real’, I probably would have liked the episode a lot more. I also hated Xander in this episode. I thought that Xander was coming a long way from his extreme goofball days, and to have him become a pitiful minion to Dracula was just tacky and wasteful.


Dracula is THE vampire that we know and his lore should have been handled with more care, I think. I mean, it should have been more epic to see Buffy face off with the king of all vamps. If anything, The Master, was more Dracula-ish and scary. But to be positive, I love seeing the gang hanging out at the beach. It’s a nice change of pace and atmosphere.

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If anything, the Scooby Gang is closer than ever after the events of Primeval at the end of season four. With Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles magically merging the essential parts of themselves together (strength, wisdom, magic/intelligence, heart) to defeat the Big Bad Adam. It took all of them to be strong and smart enough to fight Adam, which meant that their trust and love for each other was whole.

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Playing around on the beach is a great escape to just be normal friends hanging out, enjoying each other. They are admiring the road that they have travelled so far. Little did they know that the road would only become bumpier and jagged from this point on. Their problems would grow tenfold and Big Bads will not only be outside forces, but the Scoobies will have to battle the demons within themselves and those closest to them. Real Me allows us to see another side of Buffy – the big sister – a role that really brings out her protective instincts and makes her lead command on just about everything. She is in charge and her word is law. Ok, so basically The Slayer, but with one more person to closely protect. It’s more of a personal protection, though.

Dawn’s existence allows us to be at home more with Buffy and to see her spend time with her family.


Dawn, annoyed and jealous of her big sister’s leadership role and know-it-all-attitude proceeds to be a typical little sister – starting trouble and getting herself into situations where Buffy has to save her. And not only is it Buffy’s responsibility to protect Dawn, but also the rest of the Scoobies’ responsibility. This creates hilarious situations where villains like vampire Harmony tease and criticize the gang’s ‘skills’ (or lack of skills) to protect Dawn. Xander and Harmony end up cat fighting (again) after Dawn’s big mouth invites Harmony into the Summers house to eventually kidnap her.

Flashback from The Initiative

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Of course, this is a prime example of the type of chaos that Dawn creates for Buffy as she has to spread herself out thinner than usual to not only be The Slayer, but also a big sister. Joyce usually knows how to avoid trouble to eliminate the need for Buffy to constantly worry about her (except when it comes to Spike for some reason).


Dawn is a kid with the wired DNA (well, sort of) to make her sister’s life harder than it needs to be. We get to learn more about Dawn’s existence and sudden presence in Buffy’s life in No Place Like Home. We’re also introduced to the Big Bad this season – The Beast Glorificus or Glory, for short. A red wearing diva goddess who’s a really nuts.


I was honestly a little discouraged the first time I watched this episode. I was annoyed that the Big Bad, The Beast, was just a ‘hot chick’ wearing a red dress. I couldn’t wrap my head around how she could be this evil force to wreck havoc in Sunnydale. I was also thrown off by her slight-insanity and the whole split-identity thing. Basically, she morphs into a guy named Ben (Frank from How to Get Away With Murder). My hesitation to take her seriously and her dual identity as a man is just so much material for a discussion on gender roles and identity.

Before he was getting away with murder.

I slowly started to enjoy Glory being able to outmatch Buffy, which in turn forced Buffy to adapt to Glory’s strength if she ever wanted to survive a fight between the two.


This season is also centers on the theme of insanity and the brain. The things that seem to be your ‘run of mill’ normal are actually bizarre and out of this world crazy. For instance, Dawn is not really Buffy’s sister, but The Key blending the lines of realities and the supernatural demon dimensions.


And the things that seem to be crazy and impossible are your everyday normal. Like Joyce. She’s been through the ringer with her daughter being The Slayer and being in charge of saving the world from evil. She’s survived the apocalypse…twice. And in the end, she loses her life to a normal brain aneurysm. Just like that. It’s not fair that Buffy can save the world from vampires and demons, but she can’t save her own mother from something that’s just biology.

The Body is an episode that quickly became one of my all-time favorites in the series. It’s a close view of death. Normal death and how it feels to lose someone close to you in an instant. You can’t control it or stop it. The one-take shot of Buffy discovering her now deceased mother, Joyce is a moment that haunts me even today. It’s so realistic that it’s terrifying. To see your own mom lifeless lying on the couch is a sight that I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy. I imagine that there’s a rush of memories with your mom. Her just walking or talking. Or cooking. Or working. Her yelling. Her crying. Her laughing. And now, her dying. Her lying there without her spirit, just a body. It’s enough to actually drive someone insane.

Joyce’s death is one of the most shocking moments in the series to me, next to Angel turning into Angelus in season two. Joyce is the reminder that there are ‘normal’ people in Sunnydale. She’s Buffy’s mom. A role that carries so much importance and weight. Even if she is only mortal, she has a hold on Buffy to keep her from spinning out of control when things get tough. And she’s the one to remind Buffy that she’s human and not just a tool to battle the forces of evil. It’s very heartbreaking to know that Joyce is gone and Buffy has to deal with the loss of her mother internally, because she has to show a brave face for the others and now Dawn – who’s utterly broken by the loss. Joyce has impacted just about everyone close to Buffy – even Spike. She’s the one that brings everyone back down to earth.

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Dawn even tries to bring Joyce back in Forever. It’s one of those episodes that’s hard to watch, because Joyce was such a lovely woman and to bring her back as a zombie or something less than human would be a disgusting way to show her character. “What’s dead should stay dead” – Dean from Supernatural shouts years later. And he’s right. It wouldn’t be natural to bring Joyce back. I like to believe she’s gone somewhere beautiful and to snatch her back to the doom and gloom of reality is just cruel. I was terrified to watch the feet of her now resurrected body walk up to the Summers’ home and see her shadow behind the curtains as Dawn and Buffy fight about bringing her back. Her memory should be enough to guide and protect them.


Buffy is now forced to express her heartbreak and she tells Dawn that she’s just as broken as she is. “Who’s going to take care of us?” Who’s going to hold this family up and be the adult? Who’s going to provide? Who’s going to love us? The only blood family that Buffy has now is Dawn and technically she isn’t even real. What if this whole Key thing goes away and Buffy is left with no one. Her father is off in LA last we heard. The only time we get to see him is in an alternate reality/dream sequence that Buffy has in season one Nightmares. One of her greatest fears comes to fruition – her father says that he left her because she was too much of a hassle.

And I wish the show shed more light on his later presence. I know we have Giles, but it would be nice to have him check in every once in a while. Even Angel visits more and he’s got his own show and apocalyptic situations to take care of.

buffy angel forever
I really hope Cordy, Gunn, and Wes haven’t burned the place down.

One of the most powerful moments in the series and one of the most selfless things that Buffy does is in The Gift. She finally musters up the strength to defeat Glory and get Tara’s sanity back (which was taken a few episodes back).


She has to shut the portal that Glory uses Dawn, The Key, to open and unleash hell on earth. Buffy, embracing her Slayer duty and being selfless, jumps to her death to close the portal. Her blood is Dawn’s blood and rather than killing Dawn to save the world, she uses herself. Of course, her friends are distraught. Even Spike breaks down seeing Buffy’s broken body on the ground.

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It’s ironic because Spike has relished in killing two Slayers in the past. In Fool for Love, Spike tells Buffy that the Slayer has a death wish. She’s going to eventually die. And he’ll be waiting on Buffy when she’s ready. However, in The Gift, we can see that Spike loves Buffy and is in pain to see her actually die. It’s a complete 180. He goes from being this psychotic vampire that has two dead Slayers under his belt to a vampire that cries when the Slayer dies.

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Fool for Love is such a great episode, by the way. It’s a crossover with Angel’s season two episode Darla. We get to see Spike’s past with Angelus and the crew. I love when Spike and Angel are together. There’s so much snappy torment (mostly from Spike) and self-righteousness (mostly from Angel). The two can’t stand each other, yet they tolerate the other…to an extent.


Spike’s sadness over a deceased Buffy has a lot to do with him falling in love with her this season. For the bulk of the season, he tries to play it cool and pretend that he loathes her, as he should. His habits become sketchy and creepy as he watches her and hangs out in front of her house.


I honestly do not like the romantic aspect of their relationship. It seems like more of a sick, twisted, stalker, lust, hate-sex (I’ll get to this more in season six) kind of thing. Nothing like Angel and Buffy, where their love just lit the screen when they were together. I absolutely love Spike as a character, but him with Buffy is just not something I ever enjoy watching. It just seems wrong. When Spike kisses Buffy this season, she has his invitation to her house magically revoked.


spike uninvited

But I do adore Spike and Dawn’s relationship. He’s like an uncle who is obligated to protect her because she’s so precious to him. He’s honest with her without tainting her innocence. He’s aware that he’s a vampire and she’s just a kid, so he mostly jokes around with her while treating her like she’s got some sense. It’s funny because Spike wants to be this hardcore vampire, but he’s becoming softer and softer as the days go by – much to his dismay. I also love when he calls her ‘Lil bit’.

spike dawn safe

You’re probably wondering, what the hell happened to Riley, right? I honestly intentionally skipped over his plot in season five, but here is the Cliffnotes version. He leaves Sunnydale after he and Buffy grow apart. He wants to be closer to Buffy and prove his importance in the Scooby Gang, but Buffy is learning more about her natural Slayer abilities and is needing less and less of a romantic interest. So he joins this government mission. Buffy chases after him, but arrives too late. Done.

Riley became more and more useless or rather pointless as Buffy was focusing more on her family and herself this season.

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Maybe I should make a trip to LA.

Other highlights in season five include Anya’s growing money obsession. It’s hilarious. She’s a century old ex-demon and now has settled down into the human nature of greed and pride. She and Xander are closer than ever, but she’s still an odd-ball in the Scooby Gang. Doesn’t mean that I love her any less. She’s a realist.


And we can’t forget the reopening of The Magic Box, now with Giles in charge. The place has previously been a death trap. The cashiers and shop owners were always getting caught in the crossfires of some vamp or evil visit. Spike even killed a few people there. Now, with Giles and the Scooby Gang taking up shop (pun intended), the place is used as their go to for research and training. Anya is basically the manager or head-cashier. She’s totally protective of her role and makes sure that the shop [she] is making money.


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What do you mean discounts?

Season Six – Resurrection and Lost Soul   

Beginning with the first episode of season six, I had a sickening feeling in my stomach. Buffy died last season. Yes, it’s something that has happened before, but not at this capacity. She actually jumped from some ‘I don’t know how tall’ platform, through a mystical energy of hell dimensions, and landed crushed on the ground. We saw her body. Her family and friends saw her body. Lying there lifeless.


So, what’s a world without Buffy? What is everyone going to do now? Are they going to replace her with the Buffybot? (By the way, I haven’t talked about the Buffybot, because I hate her. A lot.) But seriously, we saw Buffy rise up last season and defeat a hell goddess. She looked inside her Slayer ability to become stronger and smarter. She saved the world again, and saved her sister. A sister that she just met (after regaining her memories and learning about the true origin of Dawn). A sister that we just met. Buffy died for her and we could see it on her face that she felt like her job was done and that she had lived up to her potential and to the Slayer prophecy. Now, she could rest peacefully – away from the savage and gloom of Sunnydale and the world in general.

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I’m done.

Flash forward to Bargaining, Part One. Willow and the Scoobies hold off the bad guys as best as they can with the Buffybot standing in as the real thing. Giles, feeling as if he no longer has a real need to be in Sunnydale with Buffy gone, departs to England. The Scoobies then set to resurrect Buffy with Willow clearly doing some dark magic. I really hate that Willow crosses more and more into the dark-side with her magic. It is selfish of them to want Buffy back so bad that they would resort to the unnatural to have her once again grace them with her presence.


They believe that Buffy is in some hellish place due to her unnatural death, and it doesn’t occur to them that Sunnydale is the hellish place. The gang is attacked by vampires who raise hell now knowing that the Buffybot is nothing but a fake. With all of the chaos going on, I sickeningly watch as Buffy’s flesh reappears on her corpse within her grave. Her eyes open and she claws her way out of her grave. The scene will forever haunt me as I had more proof that Buffy was really dead. She had decomposed. It’s like the Joyce thing all over again.


Bargaining, Part Two shows further how Sunnydale has become like a huge The Purge type of deal. The vamps do what they want because they surely aren’t afraid of The Scoobies and without Buffy, their biggest threat is nowhere to take them out. Spike amusingly tries to save Dawn as they ride through the crazed streets on Spike’s bike.

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Once again, I love Spike and Dawn’s relationship. For some reason, he ironically is the best person to look out for her and keep her out of harm’s way. He also teaches her about the facts of life, because he’s had a long one.


In the next few episodes, Buffy deals with her new reality of being alive again after finding peace in the afterlife. She lets Spike know how she really feels but makes him swear to keep it to himself. He seems to be the only one that understands her and who she can trust. She even invites him back into the house.


Giles and Tara continue to be at odds with Willow as she is using too much magic and for the wrong reasons. Buffy also struggles with being the head of the household and being jobless. She doesn’t know what to do with herself or what her future holds.


She tries going back to school, working in construction with Xander, at the Magic Box with Anya, and even trying to take out a loan. She fails at all of the above, mostly due to the new Big Bads this season: Warren, Jonathan, and Andrew – The Trio. I could go on and describe the new baddies, but I freaking hate the whole villain concept and their existence. I thought season six would have a terrifying Big Bad, someone to remind Buffy of the big stakes and to knock some sense into her. Like a demon to drag her to the underworld or an archangel to wreck havoc on The Scoobies for bringing Buffy back to life. But no, we get the geek squad and I am bored and annoyed watching them try to be villains.


And speaking of bored and annoyed, Once More with Feeling is one of my least favorite episodes of Buffy and television in general. It’s a musical. Everyone’s singing and it’s totally distracting from any kind of plot. The episode is ridiculous and the singing is horrendous. I’m just not a fan at all. This episode coupled with The Trio makes me think that this season is just random and not really going anywhere special. It just feels like Joss Whedon is saying screw it and doing whatever the hell he wants without an actual focus. Some believe that this episode is amazing and brilliant in terms of storytelling and experimenting with narrative styles. I just think that it’s a waste of time. Sure, there were some funny moments, but I honestly just skip the episode when I rewatch the series.

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No thanks.

Switching gears from mentioning the things that I hate about this season, let’s talk about Tabula Rasa. I love this episode. The Scoobies have indeed been through a lot in the past five (and change) seasons and I must say as viewers of the series – so have we. Buffy has died – twice. She’s basically a walking shadow of her former self. All of the strength and focus that she managed last season has been washed away and she just looks frail and lost. Giles has been rendered the “grandpa” of the group without a real voice of guidance.


Willow is dabbling in the dark arts, an 180 from her cutesy days of being Buffy’s sidekick. Xander has become the ‘bitch-boy’ to so many of the villains that I have lost count. He and Anya are now engaged and it finally seems like he is growing up – or does it? Spike has gone from a vicious vampire with nothing but hate for The Slayer to a neutered vigilante with a weird infatuation with The Slayer. Tara is beginning to see Willow in a whole new light that’s not so flashy and exciting, but more terrifying. Anya has a nice foot into the Scooby Gang, as opposed to her days of just tagging along because she was needy for Xander and attention. Then, there’s Dawn. We just met her last season as the typical little bratty sister. She’s still a brat, but now she’s more rebellious than ever with her mother gone and her Slayer sister losing her way. Like I said, it’s been a journey and the Scoobies have been through so much.

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Tabula Rasa is a fresh start, literally. The characters have a blank slate as Willow screws up a spell that she tries to use to make Buffy forget about her memories of being in a paradise afterlife and Tara from remembering all of the fights that they have about all of the magic that Willow uses. The result is everyone having amnesia of who/what they are. It’s one of my absolute favorite episodes. It’s funny and all-around entertaining. A nice depart from the doom and gloom.

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Spike definitely shines in this episode as he believes that Giles is his father because they are both British. When he vamps out, it scares the heck out of Buffy and stuns himself. Spike’s like, well I didn’t see that coming.


Smashed is an episode that I continue to find hard to watch. Season six already has me semi-uncomfortable and further watching it only makes me even more anxious to return Buffy back to normal and to put everything back in its right place. Spike and Buffy getting it on at the end of the episode and Amy ‘The Rat’ being turned human again by Willow out of loneliness just creates this catalyst of no-turning-back to the bright side Buffy. I mean, I can’t imagine what Angel feels once he learns about Spike and Buffy. Were he and Buffy’s relationship a joke? Is Buffy that screwed up? Apparently so as Spike’s chip doesn’t go off when he hits her. She’s not this innocent/ good thing anymore.


And if things couldn’t get further away from the happy times of the Scooby Gang, Willow wrecks her friendship with Buffy and disables Buffy trust in her to care for Dawn in Wrecked. This episode is so dark and twisted. Willow is getting off on extreme magical hallucinations through a warlock named Rack. Before long, she puts Dawn’s life at risk when she takes her to Rack’s to get another fix and a monster peels out of her hallucination and into reality. Dawn confronts Willow at the end of the episode and basically, tells her that she’s out of control and could have gotten her killed. After all, that Willow has done to resurrect Buffy, she almost costs her little sister her life.


Another episode that makes me uncomfortable is Doublemeat Palace. Buffy begins working at a fast food joint and continues to have gross sex with Spike. Everywhere. It’s all unsanitary and archaic. Despite Buffy being the freaking Slayer, she has to work at Doublemeat Palace, because any other job would require her to have developed real marketable skills during those years that she was saving the world. The episode is supposed to have a lighter tone, but I’m not very amused.


As You Were is an episode that I love mostly because it is a big slap in Buffy’s face. Riley’s back and I never thought I’d be excited to see him again. He basically serves as a wake-up call for Buffy. He’s now happily married and kicking supernatural butt with someone who understands him. He’s doing his job with someone that supports and loves him. Their relationship is wholesome and right. Buffy, on the other hand, is flipping burgers and screwing a vampire that doesn’t have a soul. She went from having a true love (Angel), dating someone who helped her mature and finds the strength to be on her own (Riley), and then there’s Spike. Someone, she’s screwing just to avoid thinking about how her life has been turned upside down. Their relationship is indecent and all around perverted. Riley comes back to remind her that, hey, you’re The Slayer. Act like it. Have some respect for yourself.


Seeing Red is a must watch for season six. Buffy is on the Trio’s trail and determined to end the nerds’ terror upon her and her friends. Earlier, Xander left Anya at the altar and later discovers (along with everyone else) Spike with Anya – who sleep together after they are both rejected (by Buffy and Xander). It’s then all clear that Buffy and Spike have been canoodling and Xander is disgusted at the revelation. Seeing Red allows the two to rekindle their friendship after Xander consoles, Buffy, after she is attacked by Spike, who tries to force himself on her.

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This to me is one of the most frustrating scenes of Buffy. First of all, Buffy could have taken Spike. She could have kicked his a**. Here, she’s frail and barely escapes Spike. Maybe the episode tries to say that Buffy has been crushed by her misguided trust in Spike and their relationship. She’s lost her will to him. But – I just can’t take that lightly. I also just can’t take that Spike would try to rape Buffy. Sure, he’s fallen for her and is hurt that she rejects him. And sure, he’s technically evil. But I still don’t see him being that deluded to try to rape The Slayer. He’s come too far.


Xander comes after the fight and sees Buffy lying on the bathroom floor with a huge bruise on her leg. He’s seen Buffy in worse physical conditions, but I think this is the first time he has seen her broken. (And may I remind you that he’s seen her dead – twice.) This time Buffy’s not just physically crushed, but also mentally. It’s enough to make him forget how angry he is at her, and to remember that he loves her. She’s one of his best friends and he’d die for her as she would for him. They’ve been through so much and seeing her, The Slayer, defeated is enough to send Xander over the edge. He hates Spike as he always has and as he should. And this isn’t even the most shocking part of Seeing Red. The episode ends with a crazed Warren (one of The Trio) firing a gun up at Buffy, shooting her, and accidently hitting Tara – killing her.



It’s also a hard scene to watch and it happens so fast. Willow and Tara have made amends and then Tara is suddenly killed. The shock on Willow’s face and even Tara, who doesn’t quite understand what has happened before she dies. She says, “Your shirt,” to Willow after the blood from her wound splatters onto Willow. Tara dies and we then absolutely understand the episode’s title…


Villains is an excellent episode as well. Willow grows darker, hell bent on getting revenge on The Trio, especially Warren. She saves Buffy by pulling some magical whammy to get the bullet out of her chest. Anya has once again become a vengeance demon and helps Xander and Buffy locate Warren to keep Willow from killing him. Even though Warren deserves it, Willow killing him will damage her soul and humanity. Just flashback to old Willow in her quirky clothes and adorable relationship with Oz.


What has become of her and what has become of The Scooby Gang? So much darkness has touched them and I just cannot see how they’re going to return to normalcy. Especially if Willow kills Warren, which she happily does. It’s gruesome, to say the least.


The season ends with Willow becoming more powerful than ever. Giles returns to battle against her and is almost killed. Even Buffy can’t defeat Willow. The person who saves the day, in the end, is Xander, who stands with Willow despite her threatening his life. His love and devotion to his second best friend (actually first) are what returns Willow to normal. And this is where I truly fall in love with Xander. He’s become the ultimate best friend. He’s stuck by Buffy and Willow for so long and has been the butt of every joke. The Zeppo. The guy without any supernatural gifts. But his biggest contribution to The Scooby Gang is keeping them whole. Keeping them from destroying themselves and each other. He’s the one who’s down to earth and there to be the shoulder to cry on.



We also see where Spike has been since his whole attack on Buffy thing. He’s been trying to return to his original self, and unexpectedly gets back his soul. Ha, like we haven’t heard of that one before. At this point, I’m sick of Spike and could care less about him having a soul. Angel has already been there and done that.


What Spike did to Buffy is unforgivable, so I’m going to be biting my tongue whenever he’s around. Later on, though, I grow to actually forgive Spike as he becomes somewhat redeemable. It’s all about writing your characters well enough to humanize even the demons. Joss does a great job at this.


Season Seven – Destiny Fulfilled

What I love about season seven is that it’s aesthetically and tonally brighter than season six. The stakes are definitely higher as it’s the last televised season (Buffy continues in graphic novel form), so the showdowns come at the audience one by one with so much energy and intensity. I know that a lot of fans of Buffy actually hate the lightness of the look this season as we have all grown custom to the dark lighting of past seasons (including season four, which was lighter but still held on to the grit). It is a shock to the system and eyes and it took me a while to adjust, but I love it all the same. After season six, I honestly needed the eye-opener.


I’m going to try something different here from how I approached the last six seasons (by episode for the most part). I’ll just talk about my favorite moments this season as I love the season as a solid whole. I’ll include the episodes when needed. So, here we go…

dawn s7

Dawn has definitely grown up this season, and if you think about it long enough, she’s the same age as Buffy during season one. Remember how independent Buffy was starting out that season, and how she took care of her friends and even started falling in love with Angel? Well, Sunnydale High is back in commission and Dawn starts high school. Oh, the nostalgia! She’s all grown up with her own plight to make herself useful in the Scooby Gang and become more than just Buffy’s little sister or The Key.


There’s a hilarious moment in Him as Dawn and her date grind on the dance floor of the Bronze and Willow and Xander admire her assets from behind. It gets better when Dawn turns around and they both realize who they were looking at – and what they were looking at.


Willow, Anya, and Spike are back in the good graces of Buffy. Even Andrew has made a home at the Slayer’s place. Remember Andrew? One of The Trio from last season? Yeah, he’s hanging (mostly tied up and guarded) with The Scoobies now, kind of like Spike back in season four. He’s the previous bad guy that we’re growing to love. His imprisonment by the Scoobies gives us more time to spend with him and he becomes more like family. I honestly hated The Trio last season and for good reason, but Andrew is definitely one of my favorites this season. He’s hilarious.



As for Spike, the whole tried to rape Buffy thing last season really put me off as well as the characters in the show. Dawn, who used to be Spike’s sidekick and ally has flipped the switch and if Spike wasn’t a vampire, she’d probably kick his a**. He tried to rape her big sister and she’s not liking him being around Buffy or her anymore. She doesn’t understand why he’s back and why Buffy keeps him by her side. Quite honestly, as much as I think Spike is hilarious, I still don’t get it either.

dawn hates spike

I don’t like Buffy and Spike being romantically linked. I believe they are stronger apart and just as allies. They are better supporting each other on the battlefield. Spike is more muscle to keep Team Buffy afloat, so him being around is understandable in that regard.


With all of the lovey-dovey/stalkerish moments gone, Buffy and Spike are able to push through the weirdness and be straightforward with each other. That also means that Spike gets to be funny again without me feeling weird for laughing and Buffy can mock him or turn on her charm that she used to have.


This makes season seven so much more enjoyable as Spike and Buffy aren’t really being pushed in that romantic direction. It’s more of a partnership in saving the world and kicking evil a**. I love the team up and how Spike has Buffy’s back. Buffy is also rooting for his redemption.


Spike has a soul now and feels his wrong-doings and tries to do right by Buffy. The whole him falling in love with Buffy last season and even in season five didn’t make sense to me, because Spike was soulless and essentially evil. The ‘love’ for Buffy could only be deluded and just ‘lust’. Now that he has a soul, though, I can kind of put up with their odd relationship. It may all be that I’m Team Angel and I am just hard on anyone else being the guy for Buffy.




Dirty Girls is one of all time favorite episodes in the series. Team Buffy and her potential Slayers along with Spike and Faith (’ll come back to this) go on to battle Caleb – the second man in command of this season’s Big Bad. The Big Bad is actually The First Evil, who wears different faces. Most of the time it’s Buffy’s. Which can get kind of confusing.


In the episode, Caleb basically kicks Buffy’s a** is one swoop and Spike jumps in to defend her then gets knocked out as well. Of course, Faith gets her punches in but is also unable to defeat Caleb. After shoving the actual strong hands aside, Caleb does some really bad stuff to the rest of Team Buffy – including to poor Xander. It’s a cool action scene and sometimes it’s kind of hard to watch. It prepares me for the ‘everyone is a target’ attitude of season seven. Anything can happen to our beloved characters.



It’s also a plus that Caleb is played by the amazing Nathan Fillion. If you’re a Whedon-head, then you know how awesome it is that he guest-stars this season. Also, if you’re simultaneously watching Angel season four, then you see another Firefly rep (season five has another). Nathan Fillion is so deliciously evil on Buffy, but it doesn’t get in the way of his natural tendency to quip and his comedic demeanor.


Having him as an evil priest that’s all powerful makes up for some thought-provoking TV watching. Because, vampires, demons, and even witches are among the dark and Buffy and the gang play fiddle sometimes when judging them. Caleb is like, screw that – you’re all going to die for being ‘dirty’. He himself is definitely evil, though, so his argument is mute.


So, I mentioned Faith. She returns in Dirty Girls after helping Angel out with his own crisis in LA and on a different network. She is definitely one of the best parts of season seven and an additional set of muscles. Faith is a version of The Slayer that brings a lot of things into perspective, like The Slayer in redemption.


Last season we saw Buffy at her lowest and we’ve seen all of the bad that Faith did in season three and four and even on Angel. So, why does it make sense to have one Slayer calling all of the shots? Buffy being the Chosen One is a mutable and invalid reason, because there’s more than one Slayer alive. Because Buffy has saved the world on many occasions is a valid point to make her head honcho, but then she has slept with vampires and basically given up on her duties last season.


We also have to think about why Buffy has to do this on her own? She needs help from someone with equal abilities and with an understanding of the loneliness of being the powerful one. Faith is trying to redeem herself from all of the chaos she caused before and she finally gets a taste of what it means to be in charge this season and finally what it means to be the Slayer. I just love seeing the change in leadership – or rather a joint leadership.


Not that I hate Buffy, but she needs not to be on a powertrip. I want Faith to have the chance that she never had to utilize all that comes with being chosen to save the world. Plus, they are all housing a flock full of potential Slayers, so seeing two types of Slayers gives a nice range of their abilities. Plus, now we have a Team Faith.


Faith also has a better and more understandable platonic relationship with Spike. I love both characters and value their multi-layers and journey to shake off their dark sides and past crimes. Buffy always had Angel to turn to in terms of vampires and now Faith has Spike. Though Spike and Buffy are somehow romantically linked, Faith is the Slayer that can actually relate to his past indiscretions. They’re both rough around the edges and have a rebellious nature. Now, if they were to get together, I would be totally fine with that and the show would probably have a little more intrigue – well more so than it already does.


Faith is even shocked that Giles and the rest of the gang are out on Spike’s head. Dawn and Xander surely hate him and Giles wants him dead. What a turn of events that Faith is questioning everyone else’s morality. She’s smart enough to wonder how bad can Spike be that the good guys are crazy enough to try to kill him. She is intrigued as well as on her guard. She is a Slayer after all.


With the new addition to The Scooby Gang, Principal Robin Wood, we get to explore more of Spike’s history as Robin is the son of the second slain Slayer by Spike’s hands (teeth). All Robin sees is a monster and is hell bent on serving Spike some justice in Lies My Parents Told Me. And he has a valid hatred of the vamp. However, Buffy’s morals are in the gray area and she has more fight in her to justify Spike’s behavior than to just let Robin (and Giles) off him. Spike did his worst in the past, including killing two Slayers, according to Buffy. Him having a soul now excuses his past life and he deserves to live and be redeemed just as much as a human being. Plus, she’s just not going to fit Robin’s personal vendetta into her schedule.


So, as far as Buffy is concerned – if you’re against Spike, you’re against her. Robin doesn’t want to be on The Slayer’s naughty list, so he puts his hatred and personal vendetta aside. Robin serves as someone to comment on The Scooby Gang’s unconventional behavior in determining who’s good and bad.

demons good

Which allows for some comedy, especially when commenting on how the group treats Andrew – who shouldn’t even be there. Soon enough, though, Andrew grows accepting of his hostage-status and even believes that he is something of an honored guest.



Robin and Faith also begin a romantic/sexual relationship as he is someone strong and smart enough to soften up her rough exterior. Normally, men are tools that she can use up and throw away when she’s tired of dealing with them. Unlike Buffy, who is 90% dealing with romantic issues per season, Faith never has to deal with men slowing her down or trying to change her. However, Robin is someone different and interesting enough to make Faith second-guest having a romantic relationship or at least allowing someone in. Besides their physical attractiveness to each other, Robin and Faith can actually talk about what’s going on inside their heads.


It’s funny, because Robin started off interested in Buffy – even if it was to get to know The Slayer and for Buffy to date someone ‘normal’. Of course, their dating didn’t last long as Buffy was too tied up in confused feelings about Spike, and Robin basically only wanted to get close enough to Buffy to get to Spike. I loved seeing Buffy dress up and put a smile on her face. It’s been too long.

“Daughters” by John Mayer

While we’re talking about Buffy and Robin, it’s good to mention that they meet at the ‘re-vamped’ Sunnydale High. Robin is the principal and Buffy becomes the counselor – a position perfect enough to spread her wisdom when the kids are in shock at all of the weirdness that flows from the Hellmouth beneath the school. Plus, she’s close enough to keep Dawn safe and kick some vamp and demon and ghost and whatever else butt! It’s finally a real job and the perfect job if you ask me. Who else knows what the students are dealing with more than Buffy? She did win ‘Class Protector’ back at her senior prom.


Sadly the counselor job doesn’t last long as Buffy has to deal with Caleb and The First and all of the ubervamps. She also has to train all of the potential Slayers living at casa-Summers. Good thing she has Faith, Willow, Dawn, Giles, Xander, and even Anya and Spike to help her out. Their methods may be unconventional, but we’re talking life and death, so if Spike has to put the fear in the girls to toughen them up, so be it.


I was so intrigued with the direction the show was going during my first time watching season seven. I knew it was the end and I had experienced so many emotions watching the previous seasons. Seeing Buffy having to really engage with others beside the Scooby Gang and having her leadership role called into question was something shiny and new to view. I loved the new storylines and added characters. I even appreciated Buffy being booted out of her own house for her and the others to realize that they all have to change and there needs to be more shared responsibility among them. They are not safe and seeing what happens to Xander really opened my eyes to how really bad and long-lasting things can happen to my favorite characters.


Xander becomes someone totally lovable this season (as well as last season) and I have so much more sympathy and respect for him. He’s hung in there a long time. All of the wiseguy comedic liners were toned down for me to see him as someone serious. He’s the best friend that I could only dream of having. Willow’s role is dialed back as she has to pull herself back to pieces after the events of season six. Giles is there to rehab her magical abilities.


There is a hilarious scene in Him where Willow and Anya fight over the same guy that Buffy and Dawn are fighting over. I love it, because the guy is obviously pulling some supernatural whammy as you know, he’s not Willow’s type.


I have grown to love Anya as well and her story-line this season comes together quite nicely. She may have reverted to vengeance, but her bond with The Scooby Gang is enough to put her humanity in check.


Plus, she was getting on Buffy’s naughty list, so she had to tone it down, before she got vanquished. She and Xander are not officially back together this season, but she can’t deny that she still cares for him. He accepts her bluntness and often rude comments and gestures all the same.


In the end, we see her protect someone other than herself and though it’s a shocking scene, it’s great to see Anya rise up and become a hero.


Most of the Scoobies survive, but their place in Sunnydale has all fallen to rubble. Seeing Spike and Anya bite the dust is heart-wrenching, but excellent television writing. Their story-lines have lead them to sacrifice themselves and put themselves out there for the greater good. Plus, Spike is like a cockroach, so I would just tune in to Angel’s final season to pick up the pieces. Speaking of Angel, we get to see him again this season as well.

Hey. Hey.

I hate that the series eventually ends, but it does so on such a strong note. The series finale is probably one of the most satisfying endings that I have witnessed from all of the television series that I consume. And even though it ends, it doesn’t actually ends. Buffy continues in graphic novel form. I still haven’t invested in reading up on the Scooby Gang’s adventures, but it’s something that I will get around to eventually.



That’ll actually be something great to do on my next go around watching the series. I watch Buffy at least twice a year, because it’s just a show that I heavily identify with and find resolve in. Every time I watch it, I learn something new about the characters and about myself.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope that you watch the series and enjoy it as much as I do.

‘Til next time.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Hello everyone!

It’s been such a great year and I just want to wish everyone a great holiday season! Spend it with your family, your friends, and with those that make you feel absolutely happy and amazing. Life’s too short to drain your energy trying to please those that just aren’t wired to be pleased. I’ve spent a bit of my time this year trying to love those that just do not deserve all of my time and energy. And it’s not selfish to say that I’ve given up on trying to be a person that others love to be around. I’m just trying this new thing called ‘loving myself’ and trying my best to be happy. Genuinely happy. If that means that I make others happy in the process, well more power to me!

With all of that said, I made a list of some of the ways that I’ve found happiness this holiday season. Because, you know, the holidays are stressful and the time when a lot of people begin self-evaluating whether or not they are pleased with the way that their life has been going. Evaluating all of the things that they could do better going into the new year. It can be tough, but honestly be happy with yourself and the rest will follow suite. I’ve gone out of my way to do a few things that I know makes me happy.

So here’s my list.

Quality time with family 

gg xmas

My family is not the close-knit type of family. We argue and fight a lot and disagree on some of the dumbest things. Most of the time it’s a power struggle to see who can go the longest without having to need the other. There’s a lot of huffing, pouting, and crossing arms in my house. But then again, we love each other enough to the point that we at least make an attempt to spend time with one another. Even when we honestly don’t want to. We compromise on doing things that we can all benefit from – like shopping or seeing movie.


We bicker and sometimes I think that we’re better off  just separating from the ties that bind us. Spend enough time apart to find our individual selves. But my family is a part of me and I’m a part of my family. We always get pulled back into each others graces and when the holidays are over, we start the bickering all over again.

Reconnect with friends

house 2 xmas
Do you realize how ridiculous you look?

I rarely get to spend time with my actual friends throughout the year, but when I do, it’s always amazing. We laugh. We cry. We drink a little. We dance. We act like children. We envision our futures. We get sort of depressed about how old we’re getting. Then we drink a little more and we laugh some more. It’s great. We tease each other, because we’re all moving at different paces throughout the year and sometimes we get ourselves into some weird situations that become the best stories shared over a bottle of Merlot and holiday cookies.

Get into the holiday spirit

smallville xmas
I totally look like Santa, right?

Put on a Santa hat and study up on your religion or spirituality during the holiday season. Think about what the holiday really stands for rather than all of the commercial propaganda (which is nice given its limits).

the oc xmas

Honestly, my family is huge on celebrating Christmas, but I’m diving more into Kwanzaa territory this year. I mean, why not? Whatever holiday that you celebrate, really get into it. Bring out the ugly Christmas sweaters, the eggnog, the platters of food, and 90’s Mariah Carey tunes. But also remember or learn about your roots and think about why you’re even celebrating the holidays in the first place.

Switch up the food

xmas supernatural

So for the past six (maybe seven) months, I have been vegetarian. Well, actually more so pescatarian, if we’re into labels. It’s been great in terms of how I feel about my body and health. Unfortunately, the holidays bring on a lot of anxiety in the food department. It’s mostly due to all of the family traditional recipes and lack of effort to adjust to everyone’s individual diets. There’s a ton of meat and heavy calories being served up at my house, but I have put in the effort to include the foods that work for me so that I won’t feel guilty or frustrated about the food that I am/not eating at the table.

Be appreciative of your work and coworkers


I work with a variety of people and personalities and I love it. Sometimes I forget to stop and appreciate those around me and those that support  the work that I do. My coworkers and I truly are a team, though. Getting out of bed to come do our jobs keeps the system flowing nicely and the work spread in our different departments and positions. At the end of the day, we’re all just people with our own lives. Stopping to say thanks or taking a few holiday pictures with each other really adds depth to the relationships that we keep at work.

Share some mistletoe

xmas 90210

It’s no secret that the holidays bring out the romance in the best of us. Whether or not you’re married or in a committed relationship, spend some time under the mistletoe and embrace the love in the air. Seriously though, what is it about the holidays that make us all lovey-dovey? My friends and I joke that the holidays should be called ‘cuddle season’. A force to size-up Valentine’s Day.

xmas 90210 2

And even if you’re single, there’s no shame in appreciating the sense of kindness that seems to be a special ingredient in the hot cocoa that we’re sipping on. Spread the love.

*Just a note that David is in both of the photos above. Sigh. He understands what I’m talking about.*

Happy holidays guys! ‘Til next time.

TV: The OC

You’ve probably noticed that I’ve been adding music recommendations before my posts. The shows I love usually have amazing soundtracks and here is where I recommend at least one song that I think shapes the series and is just a great listen.

“If You Leave” by Nada Surf (re: OMD)

Also, this month’s theme must be teen dramas in terms of television. I mean I couldn’t watch Beverly Hills, 90210, One Tree Hill, or even Felicity without thinking about The OC. Trust me though guys, my love for television spans multiple genres. But I think that’s how I’ll posts my favorite shows for now on – by genre or style. So for the rest of the month and maybe the next few weeks, let’s talk about teen dramas.

And without further ado –

welcome oc

A little background: I started watching The OC in high school. It was actually the first series that I purchased on DVD and then I couldn’t break the habit. I really should make more walking space in my room. Anyway, watching this show in high school made me super anxious and feel unfulfilled with my own life. I wanted to be in California. That was all. I wanted friends like Seth, Summer, Ryan, and even Marissa – with all of her drama. I wanted to hang out on boardwalks and eat California tacos. I wanted to sail to Tahiti. I wanted to debut at a cotillion ball. I wanted to have the beach be practically in my backyard. Like I said, I was anxious. My high school life just didn’t seem up to par with the crew in Newport Beach. So, I watched the show and became something of a shell. And yeah, this kind of sounds depressing, and at the time – it was.

seth music
Basically, this was my life.

The OC didn’t cause my depression though, it was actually a form of escape like all of my favorite TV series. I was able to live through these characters and situations and just go through the motions in my real life. Maybe if I was more social and watched less TV, I could have healed my situation, but I seriously doubt it. I was always thinking beyond high school – unconsciously ignoring that whole era in my life as I was living it. Thinking about other worlds, societies, and groups of people. I could go on, but since this is becoming something else outside of a post about The OC, let’s get right into why I love this show: “California, here we come…”

Seth Cohen’s World

Naturally, I watched this show through the lens of Seth Cohen. I related so much to him as a high school student, being a music-holic and all-around fandom enthusiast. His taste in music was the same as mine. We both loved comics. We both made the people around us endure our film and pop cultural references and general sarcasm about everything. Even today,  my own mother doesn’t know if I’m being sincere or NAH. The same for Kirsten and Sandy Cohen.

Seth was just Seth. He lived in his own bubble (until Ryan came along) and had his own quirks and interests.

His love for music, comics, games, and film was the reason why his life was so colorful. His real life shut him out, because he was different from most of the teens in his hood. So, like a natural outsider and dreamer – he took refuge in the fictional worlds that appealed to him. Sounds familiar?

comic books

Geekin’ out about comic books, video games, and film made him knowledgeable about just about every type of ‘character’ (person) and ‘world’ (society). This is what made him brilliant and a little annoying to be around, because sometimes his references would go over any other person’s head. Again, I can relate. But then again, Seth was creative and could connect his world with the world of comics and eventually developed his own series (with that one guy Zach).

atomic county

When Ryan came along, Seth had someone to talk to – about himself. He spent pretty much his whole life inside of his own head and when there was someone around who would listen (re: had to listen) – he wouldn’t shut up about his many issues and interests. Actually, you guys are kind of like my Ryan – here to read my spiel on everything that interests and annoys me. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

seth self- absorbed

Having Ryan around meant that Seth could voice is thoughts about things that he would normally have to deal with in his own head. Unfortunately for Ryan, he had a lot to talk about and his thoughts usually just revolved around himself and Summer, but mostly himself. This made him somewhat self-absorbed and edgy all of the time. Great for us, but bad for Ryan – because he’s got his own problems to sort out. More on that in a bit.

talk about himself

Seth and Ryan’s relationship opened both of their eyes to worlds beyond anything they could’ve ever dreamed of understanding. Ryan, with his life with a drunky mom (Seth and Ryan would later learn that they have this in common) or him living from couch to couch – having grown up watching his mom get smacked around by asshole men – including his own dad. Then, his older brother, Trey, wasn’t much of a positive influence as he stole cars. This is actually how Ryan ended up living with Seth and The Cohen family in the first place. Guess I forgot to do a premise. But, that’s pretty much the gist of it. Ryan grew up on the other side of the tracks, so to speak. Seth, on the other hand, grew up in the world of the affluent and entitled. His father Sandy, though, was an ordinary Jewish guy from NY who put himself through law school and ended up falling in love with Kirsten – the doorway to this rich world. So, Seth grew up wealthy, but he was always an outsider. He and Ryan would learn quite a bit from each other. The process was entertaining to say the least.

seth ryan 1

An essential part of Seth’s world was his taste in music. He loved the classics and emo/ indie rock, but most beloved was the band Death Cab for Cutie. Watching his passion for the band is when I truly fell in love with the show. Basically, the soundtrack of the series his just Seth’s personal playlist. Which of course I had to download. I have mentioned before in other posts about my love for Coldplay, a band similar to Death Cab in genre, that also gets labelled as ‘whiny’. But, I will arm wrestle anyone that says this within earshot. You see, their music is emotional and their sound is what got me through high school. I STILL need to write about them, but I don’t even know where to start. They are a band that, I think, cannot be merely described in a few words – but I’ll try. One day. Anyway, my love for Coldplay is equally compared to Seth’s love for Death Cab.

seth death cab

Basically, Seth is just a guy with all of the questions and none of the answers. He may be prone to being bullied and pushed around by the popular kids who feel like their world can’t be breached by those different from them, but he’s full of heart and wit. I think we all can relate a little to Seth, because he represented the ‘normal’ high school kid – just trying to get by.

seth ridicule
Me too, Seth. Me too.

The Friendship (and Odes to Classic Movies)

Did anyone else notice all of the movie references in The OC? I have to admit, the first time I watched this show, some of the references went over my head – like the ode to Rebel Without A Cause in season one’s episode, The Model Home. This was such a great episode, by the way. Actually, the entire first season just flowed so nicely with nonstop entertainment. The episode was the start of a beautiful friendship between Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and later Summer.

marissa seth ryan

The friendship moments on The OC always had the perfect soundtrack. Like the perfect moment with Caught By the River by The Doves playing as Seth and Ryan race down the boardwalk with Marissa chasing them and tagging along. You know, watching these guys together was the best part about this show. I think their friendship even helped me cope with how dull  my social life was as a teen. Just breezing on by on the boardwalk with some friends seemed like the most epic thing ever.

marissa seth ryan

Summer would soon come around and join the gang on their many adventures. She had to first get over Ryan being from the other side of the tracks.

chino ew

The series, especially the first season, seemed like a lengthy John Hughes film. With Summer, the four always had each other’s back when drama went down. From saving Marissa in Tijuana to saving Ryan from his psychotic brother. The four were a solid group and of course, squad goals.

the oc gang

The Cohen Family

Speaking of squad goals, the Cohen + Atwood family were the ultimate family. Of course they weren’t exactly perfect and had a number of issues – like Kirsten’s drinking problem and ass of a father (Caleb), Ryan punching out everyone on a reg and burning down houses, and Sandy being vocal about how much he loathed the rich and entitled people in their community – which really wasn’t THEIR problem, but kind of alienated them from the rest of the lot in Newport Beach. Which was great!

cohen family

Taking Ryan in seemed to be just what the Cohen family needed as he came from a damaged family and needed stability. He somehow made them more stable in return. He became a brother to Seth and a different kind of son to Sandy and Kirsten.

you're a cohen now

The Ryan and Seth duo kept Sandy hip and softened Kirsten up a bit. In the beginning, she was a little hard around the edges and the least thrilled to have an outsider stay with them. But, I think she and Ryan had the most in common and by him needing a mother figure, she became an even better mother to HIM and to Seth. She even tried to cook! That says something.

seth and ryan

Kirsten and Sandy now had a well rounded household and a pair of teens that always needed them to keep them in line – but Ryan and Seth kept the grownups in check as well. In her darkest moment, Ryan reminded Kirsten of what it felt like to have an alcoholic mother and that was the moment, I think, Ryan truly became her son. Sandy deeply appreciated how much of a man Seth became when Ryan was around.

salt his game

I just love their kitchen conversations – usually centered around Seth and Ryan’s lady troubles with a basket of bagels for Sandy to schmear. Or, Sandy cooking in general. Most of the time it was Seth and Sandy doing the talking while Kirsten and Ryan shrugged or shook their heads in reply to the madness.

shuck corn

Also, someone always seemed to walk in at the right moment to hear the wrong thing.cohen family weed caleb

Plus, they had Christmukkah! Enough said.

christmukkah 2

The DRAMA (basically, Marissa Cooper)

Ryan loved Marissa Cooper from the moment that they first met.

who are you ryan

The drama on the show essentially centered around the two of them. Being the outsider in this new world attracted Ryan to Marissa, the girl with a knack for falling for damaged guys – like herself. I think this is why she was first drawn to Ryan, because he was supposedly the bad boy coming to invade her little world and the people in it didn’t accept him. Marissa probably figured that he was a way to piss off a few people and show them up (which yeah, that’s what happened). She basically was a magnet to drama. Guys with issues seemed to be the type that she naturally was drawn to. But Ryan was different. He not only was smart, but he was just trying to change his life and make a new path. He occasionally had to intervene between the rest of the guys Marissa got herself involved with.

ryan marissa luke

Luke was just the stereotypical rich guy jerk, but he would eventually turn things around. But, Oliver was just a prick. Johnny was depressing. Trey was unstable. Volchok was unfortunate. She also dated Alex, played by Olivia Wilde. Alex had too much to prove – making her too feisty.

I really hated Oliver. But Volchok would be the one to really ‘drive’ Marissa to the deep end (for those who’ve seen the show – see what I did there).


ryan volchok
Yeah, I was in Twilight.

Indeed, Marissa was a basket-case and her rich girl status only made those around her ignore the truth. She was deeply depressed. Her own parents were as mature as her high school classmates. Julie Cooper [Nichol-Cooper], was the Queen Bee of Newport (even when she wasn’t) and she made Marissa’s life a living hell. She basically believed money could buy happiness and could also mask unhappiness.

Julie rich girl status

Jimmy was a guy that married the wrong wife and couldn’t help but make the wrong decisions – in terms of keeping his family afloat. He also didn’t seem to have a spine and Julie was mean with the whip! The Cooper family’s money only gave Marissa the resources to turn to the bottle and get into trouble.

Ryan grew up saving his alcoholic mother on many occasions and meeting Marissa only made him privy to saving her – when he could. Though he truly loved her (and I think Marissa loved him too), Ryan spent more time rescuing Marissa from her own world rather than allowing himself to be happy and in love (this is why I love him and Taylor – stay tuned).

marissa ryan

I would even argue that Ryan was a parental figure in Marissa’s life, because her parents were anything but good parents. Just look at the example Julie sets for her daughter.

julie cooper gun

marissa shoots trey

Ryan’s life eventually became more stable while Marissa’s was extremely spinning out of control. Though Ryan continued to insert himself into her problems, there was only so much that he could do.

caitlin ryan

And eventually the crap that Marissa got herself into overcame her chance for happiness. Even from the very beginning, Ryan should have known that his love for this girl would only cause him pain in the end.

marissa ryan

ryan save marissa last time
Bye, Felicia.

Seth and Summer

Despite all of the ultra drama between their best buds, Ryan and Marissa, Seth and Summer managed to be the strongest couple in this series. I mean with Seth’s insecurities and self-absorbed tendencies and Summer’s raging back-outs, they were a match-made in heaven.

seth and summer

Summer was just what Seth needed and vice versa. Her spunk and his dorkiness made for some of the funniest moments on the show. He fought for her attention and love and they were perfect together. Endless babble and constant name calling is the stuff of a winning relationship – right?


The thing about their relationship is that they were from different worlds, but were so much alike (even when it really didn’t seem like they were).

When Anna showed up, she was the perfect someone test Seth and Summer relationship. Being totally like Seth on the outside, she could talk some sense into Seth in terms of becoming his own person rather than obsessing over not being enough fro Summer. I honestly believe that Seth truly did love Anna as well, but they were stronger together as friends rather than lovers.

seth and anna

That doesn’t mean that their bond wasn’t lovely to watch. Even Summer knew that there was something special between them and thus she began to realize that she truly did love Seth and would not stop fighting for him. I love watching Anna and Seth torture Summer with their matching outfits and mutual interests. Plus, they were just adorable together.


As much as I loved Anna though, I knew that Summer was the one for Seth. I mean they both had toy horses as bedside buddies. Yes, I’m talking about Captain Oats and Princess Sparkles. It was fate!

captain oats

Being with Seth influenced Summer’s choices and gave her someone to grow with. Marissa was her best friend, but the girl seriously had issues and wasn’t the greatest influence. The amount of growth Summer has throughout the series is amazing.  I think having to buckle down to team up with Seth and Ryan to occasionally rescue Marissa definitely had something to do with it.

drinking buddies

Summer gorws up

What a change!

Ryan and Taylor 

After all of the Marissa drama for the first three seasons, poor Ryan was in need of some fun and lovin’. I am so glad that the show brought in Taylor as Ryan’s love interest in season four. I mean the girl was a little off her rocker, but that was exactly what Ryan needed. Their moments were so hilarious and adorable!

taylor and ryan

Ryan had to deal with drama from other love interests (Theresa, Sadie, and Lindsay) and they were always putting his life at risk, because Ryan had to be the one to punch out the jerk causing problems for them. But Taylor was different. Yes, she had issues to say the least, but she wasn’t always so dark and gloomy. Her drama usually resulted from something ‘out-there’ that she had gotten herself caught up in – like marrying a french guy that called her breasts his peaches and wrote a book about it. Despite her silliness, Taylor had real insecurities resulting from her hard ass mom not loving her enough (or at least expressing it in the harshest way). She latched on to Ryan as soon as he showed some sort of kindness towards her. Ryan was dealing with his loss of Marissa, so he struggled to let someone else in. It took him a while, but…

taylor ryan

Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper + Kirsten

Ju-Ju needed her Ki-Ki. These two were a regular ol’ Thelma and Louise on the show. Julie was too much sometimes with her basically being the root of all evil in Marissa’s life (starting with sleeping with Luke) and being something of a gold-digger after Jimmy bankrupts them and she cuts him loose. Though, even with all of the drama, Julie was hilarious and knew how to turn the party up a few notches. She loved her Queen Bee status and challenged anyone else that tried to step on her expensive shoes.

Julie cooper

But this lady needed to take a chill pill! With that, she latched on to Kirsten, whom she envied for years for growing up wealthy and being the first love of Jimmy. Kirsten seemed to have everything that Julie ever wanted, but she (Julie) didn’t deserve. After realizing how much of a mess she was making of things (including marrying Kirsten’s father, Caleb and secretly trying to kill him) Julie managed to turn things around with a little help from Kirsten. Kirsten was the quiet one with her head on straight (when a glass of chardonnay wasn’t calling her name) and she influenced Julie to clean up her act, as much as she could anyway.

Julie, on the other hand, helped Kirsten lighten up a bit and live a little. Kirsten came to liking Julie more after she was no longer her step-mom. How cruel that was! The two had some fun times, though.



I always enjoy watching this show and if you’ve never seen it – check it out!

It does bring back memories of my struggles in high school, but at the same time the joy of having this little world to escape through. Being an adult and rewatching it reminds me to only be an outsider on my own terms and enjoy the world around me. I also like to kick back and listen to some great tunes with friends and overwhelm them with my pop cultural references. They love me for it though! Got to keep them on their toes. Great show. Great music. Non-stop entertainment. I just wish that it would have lasted longer. Here’s one of my favorite scenes. Enjoy. Model Home Flashback

‘Til next time.